VEGAN FAIL!

100% vegan. And now with real rabbit.

Found on Jorge Garcia's Dispatches from the Island blog.

Lunchtime Granola for 3/20/9

Mining Drone "Young Ted Danson" strikes a rich vein of granola!

This unknown bikini beauty (photographed by Memo Flores) was found on YTD's discovery, Bikini Beat.

Don't be fooled

Zimbabwe 'in talks with West on sanctions'

While Western powers would prefer that Mugabe step down, they have indicated they can help the country recover as long as a democratic government is in place.

Pardon my Hawaiian, but FUCK THAT! Mugabe turned a perfectly good and productive Zimbabwe into a hellhole. From Wikipedia (so take with a grain of salt):

Despite majority [black] rule and the existence of a "willing-buyer-willing-seller" land reform programme since the 1980s, ZANU (PF) [Mugabe's political party] claimed that whites made up less than 1% of the population but held 70% of the country's commercially viable arable land (though these figures are disputed by many outside the Government of Zimbabwe). Mugabe began to redistribute land to blacks in 2000 with a compulsory land redistribution.

The chaotic implementation of the land reform led to a sharp decline in agricultural exports, traditionally the country's leading export producing sector...As a result, Zimbabwe is experiencing a severe hard-currency shortage, which has led to hyperinflation and chronic shortages in imported fuel and consumer goods. In 2002, Zimbabwe was suspended from the Commonwealth of Nations on charges of human rights abuses during the land redistribution...

[....]

Zimbabwe's current economic and food crisis, described by some observers as the country's worst humanitarian crisis since independence, has been attributed in varying degrees, to a drought affecting the entire region, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and the government's price controls and land reforms.

So, Zimbabwe gets famine, epidemic, genocide, and racial strife, all because of one madman's dream of a socialist utopia. Sounds like any assistance plan needs to include that he (and his ilk) leave and never return. But watch, we'll kick in for fear of a "worse humanitarian crisis" when the fastest and best solution would be swift and terrible violence.

Where's that deathray when you need it!?

Jambi, Mount This On The Ornithopter. I Need Refreshment.

Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream and Gelato

The New NitroCream brand N2-G4 is geared not only for the experienced ice cream or gelato connoisseur, but for the novice as well. Anyone -- aficionado or not -- cannot help but be impressed by the craftsmanship, the unique appearance and the unforgettable product of these machines.
The N2-G4 is not your standard, massed produced ice cream or gelato machine. Each machine is hand built, a true fusion of engineering and design

via UnCrate

Tiki Kahuna Is Angry

Tongan inspection team heads to undersea volcano

Scientists sailed Thursday to inspect an undersea volcano that has been erupting for days near Tonga — shooting smoke, steam and ash thousands of feet (meters) into the sky above the South Pacific ocean.

Did someone forget to sacrifice the virgin today? Kepeli, I'm looking at you.

Good Ole Popcorn Bought The Farm

Gone to His Holy, Holy Still - Slashfood

The nation's best-known moonshiner has died just days before he was to report to federal prison....
Legal or not, Popcorn -- who got his name by destroying a bar's 10-cent popcorn machine with a pool cue -- practiced an artisan's craft producing thousands of gallons of white dog in handmade stills hidden in the hillsides of North Carolina and Tennessee.

Watch the vid for some back woods still action.

Space Chicks, Some of them Robots

The Women of Battlestar Galactica

So as we say farewell to one of the better Sci-Fi shows in recent memory, we’ll honor them the way Gunaxin does best. With pictures of women. Here are the women of Battlestar Galactica:

More "It's Work, Really": Beanies and Bikinis Contest

‘Beanies and Bikinis’ 2007 Bikini Contest
Why can't we cover stuff like this?

Volleyball Cheerleader Ass

43 Pictures Of Volleyball Cheerleaders

42 more pictures of volleyball cheerleaders shaking their asses in tiny bikinis.

Jeff Bait: Danielle Lloyd Pre Surgery

Danielle Lloyd Before She Had Tits
It's amazing, she went from Jeff bait to Jeff repellent. Perhaps she knew of him

Made in the image of "Dear Leader"

HA WTF!?
BEST.
ANIMATED.
GIF.
EVAR!

Well, I for one welcome our Lovecraftian overlords!

Fossil of 'ultimate predator' unearthed in Arctic - life - 17 March 2009 - New Scientist

Predator X had a head twice the size of Tyrannosaurus rex and its bite had four times the force, at around 15,000 kilograms (33,000 pounds) over the whole jaw. Its teeth were each around 30 centimetres (1 foot) long.

Eat hot photons, scum from beyond!

I know what I want for Xmas my birthday NOW!

From io9...

In a recent press release, [Northrop Grumman] announced that they had created the most powerful laser ray at 105 kilowatts, paving the way for energy weapons use in combat.

According to sources, the 100 kilowatt threshold is the level at which military grade lasers can be powerful enough to be useful. And the military has plenty of ways in which lasers can be useful.

And I'm pretty sure I can think of some, too.

Breakfast Granola for 3/20/9

Dutch Courage: It's what's for breakfast.

Chelina Manuhutu from Holland, as seen on F-listed.

A New Plan for Dr. J's: Infect Girls Computers & Get Them To Do Stuff

U.S. Military Contractor Allegedly Hacked Teens to Extort Nude Photos from Them

the alleged perpetrator, Patrick Connolly, 36, planted malware on victims' computers to spy on them and threatened them and family members with harm and public embarrassment if they didn't send suggestive images or perform sexually for him in front of their web cameras.

But Who Doesn't Want An Amazon Babe From Another Dimension?

YouTube - Sexy Cyborg from Another Dimension!
Ahh, white comedy rap. Where would we be without you.

Lunchtime Granola for 3/19/9

Man arrested while registering stolen car

A Richmond man was arrested at a Department of Motor Vehicles office when he tried to register a Buick that had been stolen in a carjacking, authorities said Wednesday.

Yeah, you fail at crime AND life.

Turquoise: Official Mediterranean Cuisine of Granola Heavy Industries

Turquoise Mediterranean Grill — Orinda - Diablo Magazine - March 2009 - East Bay - California
[Image unrelated]

Today's eats: Sandwich meal deal, with fries and a drink = $6.50. Snap it up!

Turquoise Mediterranean Grill
70 Moraga Way
Orinda
(925) 253-2004
Lunch and dinner daily.

Also see, Turquoise Mediterranean Grill on Yelp

Thanks WiiHotties

fun511 | Wii Hotties
Sad, but this is no follow up gallery

Peekabooty

Penny Mathis and her ass are brought to you by Hollywood Tuna.

Speaking of Jimmy Snuka...

Wait for it: 1:31.

Principal Snuka You Have A Lot Of Explaining to Do

Image by shaun wong via Flickr

Dallas ISD records show school held 'cage fights'

The principal and other staff members at South Oak Cliff High School were supposed to be breaking up fights. Instead, they sent troubled students into a steel utility cage in an athletic locker room to battle it out with bare fists and no head protection, records show.

Has Dr. J become a Tantric Mystic in his spare time?

Image via Wikipedia

Father, mystic held for allegedly raping daughters

"The businessman approached a friend who claimed to possess tantrik powers, and the latter advised him to have sex with his daughter to prosper in life," police officer Mukund Mahajan told the CNN-IBN news channel.

Police said that in recent months, the tantrik apparently began having sex with the businessman's 15-year-old daughter, also for occult reasons.

1. You have friends with tantrik powers? Nice friends
   
2. "hmm...you have special powers. ok. Now you want me to do what?!!...sure that sounds reasonable"
3. "Also for occult reasons"? What the hell does that mean?

Good job fucking with their heads Jeff.

Go Be Fat Somewhere Else...Seriously Chunky!

God damn Brits!

Via Media Takeout:

A British family is suing the government for MORE WELFARE MONEY. Apparently they claim they’re too fat to work – and need the government to pay for all their food.

The family Philip Chawner, 53, and his 57-year-old wife Audrey weigh 336 lbs. Their daughter Emma, 19, weighs 238 lbs, while her older sister Samantha, 21, weighs 252 lbs.

Here’s how London’s Daily Mail is reporting things:

The family from Blackburn, England claim $31,940 a year in benefits, equivalent to the take-home pay from a $42,570 salary. The Chawners, haven't worked in 11 years, claim their weight is a hereditary condition and the money they receive is insufficient to live on.

Mr Chawner said: "What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."

How is it possible that they can get this kinda money? Well check this out:

Each week, Mr and Mrs Chawner, who have been married for 23 years, receive $251 in income support and incapacity benefit. Mrs Chawner is paid an extra $468-a-month disability allowance for epilepsy and asthma, both a result of being overweight.

Mr Chawner gets $100 a month after developing Type 2 diabetes because of his size. He was on a waiting list for a gastric band last year, but a heart condition made the operation unsuitable. Their daughter Samantha receives $119 in Jobseekers' Allowance each two weeks while Emma, who is training to be a hairdresser, gets $82 every two weeks under a hardship fund for low-income students.

We just glad that this family ain't FOLK!!!

More Thor News - Natalie Portman Might Join Cast

IGN: Natalie Portman Joining Thor?

March 16, 2009 - Star Wars veteran Natalie Portman is reportedly the front runner to play the female lead in Paramount-Marvel's Thor movie, to be directed by Kenneth Branagh. Thor has shifted release dates again -- from June 16, 2011 to May 20, 2011 -- in order to make room for Paramount's newly announced Transformers 3.

Not That I'm really excited about Thor. I've just posted a bunch of Thor stuff already.

More of Alana Blanchard

See the whole set of Alana "Rip Curl Girl" Blanchard at Kontraband

Breakfast Granola for 3/19/9

In an odd bit of irony...Marriage: You're Doing It Wrong!

32-year-old Florida resident, Bradley Gellert was arrested after an altercation occurred with his wife and he choked her out. Gellert won’t be winning any husband of the year contests happened to be wearing a t-shirt that said, “I <3 My Marriage.” Perhaps he does or did earlier in the day before the fight occurred, but at some point, Gellert was not a fan of his own marriage or more specifically, his wife.

Found via F-listed on The Smoking Gun.

Call the cops on your boyfriend? Make Sure to Remove Bestiality Videos

Porn Sting Goes To The Dogs - March 18, 2009

Concerned that an ex-boyfriend had used her laptop to search for child pornography, the Indiana woman asked police to search the computer for illegal images, but had her plan backfire when cops discovered two videos of her engaged in illicit acts with a dog.

She's not terrible looking and obviously as dumb as a rock. So, she'll have a good time in prison.

Even More Tilt Shift Fun

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.
Bathtub IV on Vimeo