Friday, March 25, 2011

Liar liar

Truly great actors and actresses have the ability to become someone else and project emotions so completely that they can convince you that they are not who they actually are. This means there is at least one profession where lying is the profession.

But then there are professions where lying seems to be integral:

  • Lawyer: "My client is not guilty."
  • Politician: "I promise, if I am elected, that I will..."
  • Salesperson: "This car is a bargain and an excellent value."

And then that are professions where we go from lying to alteration of reality:

  • Musician: "What I do is art and will live forever."
  • Legislator: "Lowering the rate of increase in funding is a cut."
  • Programmer: "That's a feature, not a bug."

So seriously, don't piss on me and tell me it's raining. Words mean things, and don't pretend they don't.

Otherwise, fuck you, too.

Breakfast Granola for 3/25/11

The C2 "split-window" Corvettes were always the best. Oh Chevrolet, where (when?) did you go so wrong?

Found on Jalopnik.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Today's forecast...

...heavy showers, plus intermittent BITCHASSNESS.

That is all.

In Soviet Russia, avalanche controls YOU!

"Avalanche control" is generally a technique whereby experts cause a series of small slides to prevent huge and dangerous ones. Keyword: GENERALLY.

However, when not-experts cause one large slide that becomes the huge and dangerous one, well... that's what these Russians in North Ossetia (aka: Outer Herpderpia) will demonstrate for you.

Listen for the ultimate in herp-derp: they're giggling as the avalanche is headed their way. I'd love to know what they're saying. I'm guessing either "Cannons are awesome" or "We're so boned!"


EMBED-Russian Soldiers Wiped Out By Avalanche - Watch more free videos

Breakfast Granola for 3/24/11

Everybody loves Reef, especially us. Thus, it is with great pleasure that I have mined up Miss Reef 2011, Victoria Alvarez.

Found via F-listed, who found it on Brobible, who got it from Egotastic.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

24: The Motion Picture

From EW, can plz haz? Kthxbye!
We’re holding our breath, Jack Bauer: Kiefer Sutherland told the women of The View this morning that the much-anticipated release of the 24 movie will be in (drumroll please) … 2012.

Hey, there’s no reason NOT to believe Sutherland (who was on the show to promote his Broadway play That Championship Season). Still, EW hears that the movie has yet to find a director and has no start date. I guess we should stay tuned.

Sutherland told EW earlier this year that he remains committed to a big-screen version of the Fox drama and, in fact, hopes to begin production within a year. Though Fox ultimately nixed a script by Billy Ray (State of Play), the movie remains “the little engine that could.” He acknowledged that 20th Century Fox has been working with director/producer Tony Scott (Man on Fire, The Good Wife) on the project. “Billy did a fantastic job and there are aspects of that story [that will remain],” the actor says. “I couldn’t be more thrilled.”

Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2011)

Elizabeth Taylor was one of the OG child stars. And, as you can see, she was also an OG hot piece/sex symbol. Her beauty would give most modern starlets a run for their money.

And her appetites? She was married eight times, to seven men; Richard Burton got two spins. So, posthumous high-five to Dick Burton!

And to Liz, sorry to see you go. A Hollywood Era is definitely gone.

Breakfast Granola for 3/23/11

From the general googlewebs, file under "Guns don't kill people. Pink guns do!":
When a burly ex-convict forced his way into a posh Florida home last week, he had no idea what awaited him -- a 25-year-old beauty queen with a pink .38-caliber handgun.

Meghan Brown, a former Florida pageant queen, shot and killed 42-year-old Albert Franklin Hill during a home invasion March 12 at the 2,732-square-foot house she shares with her fiance in Tierra Verde, Fla.

[....]

Brown, who reigned as the 2009 Miss Tierra Verde, snatched her gun from a nearby bedroom and shot the suspect several times – hitting him in the chest, groin, thigh and back, her fiance said. Hill was pronounced dead at the scene.

[....]

Hill had a criminal record stretching back nearly three decades -- including arrests for burglary, battery, drug possession and grand theft. He reportedly served a 13-year prison term in 1987 and was released in September after serving a fourth term behind bars.

1) Way to go, Meghan! This goes to show that it's not the color or caliber, but wherewithal and killshots, that'll put down an orc.

2) Way to go, Criminal Justice System! he said sarcastically. The only thirty year career not worth having ought to be a criminal career, but Hill sure tried. Too bad it took a civilian to end it when it could have been ended previously by solid incarceration.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A musical interlude...

...from Yoko Kanno with vocals by Raju Rammaya.

Breakfast Granola for 3/22/11

Trucks should not be for most people. They're outsized from the bulk of other vehicles with steering and suspension to match. Plus, they have suspect visibility in the best of circumstances.

With herpderp operators to match...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Today's trifecta

Once again, a triumvirate of insanely hot ass. You're welcome!

P.S.: Spring, where art thou?

Erica Campbell is safely ensconced in the Ore Archives.

More of the same

The ridiCULOus Jaime Koeppe is from the Ore Archives.

When the sun goes down...

So, how is everyone? Current conditions are wet and recovering from a very damp, blustery weekend, with the moon in waning gibbous at 95% of full.

These supplemental moons were found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 3/21/11

We knew this was going to happen eventually: Adrianne Palicki in a Wonder Woman costume.

She's tall and pretty, but now I guess I'd have to see her moving because this looks like a pause in a Comicon hallway before the cosplay competition.

Which she'd likely win, but I digress...

There's still the NBC TV show to air, and I still have my doubts.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.