Warren Sapp: Funny AND Die!

Want to See a Dead Body with Warren Sapp & Rob Huebel from FODPresents

Bohemian Rhapsody solo x4

Found on TYWKIWDBI:

Lovely rarity

Highly uncommon ore Lisa Marie Scott was re-found on Holy Taco, but I add this update:

She received a ballet scholarship from the University of California, Irvine but later studied history at UCLA and graduated summa cum laude in March 2000. She briefly attended UC Berkeley School of Law for a semester before dropping out.

Tsk. Keep it moving!

Breakfast Granola for 1/7/11

Behold, a semi-interesting new Ore: Melanie Iglesias. There's also some video:

Found on DJ Mick via F-listed.


Melanie Iglesias from EBIS on Vimeo.

DONK!

Rachel McAdams got booty, as this still from this animation attests.

Found on a deliberate search of the intergoogles.

Every Comic Con features...

...this. Forget what you heard, act like you know.

Found on Hawtness.

Breakfast Granola for 1/6/11

Apparently, the Francophone world has an interesting way of saying "Happy New Year." Wait for it: 0:11...

Parenting the Stephan Pastis way!

Stephan Pastis draws the comic Pearls Before Swine. He's also a parent, and offered up this wisdom for other parents on his blog:

I’ve been taking my son Tom to his basketball practices. My wife Staci used to do it, but she got bored just sitting there for an hour.

I can see how it would be boring. The kids learn how to play zone defense. They learn how to set screens. They learn how to rebound.

This requires the average parent to sit on the half-open bleachers and fill an hour.

Some talk to each other. Some read. One knits.

I fill the hour in a different way.

I boo my son.

Tom makes a lay-up.

“Booooooooo.”

Tom hits a jump shot.

“Booooooooo.”

Tom gets a rebound.

“Booooooooo.”

It is as though I am rooting for another team. An invisible one. And Tom is the enemy.

If nothing else, it is a novel approach to parenting.

So far, the other kids’ parents haven’t said anything. Mostly because they think I’m an unstable vagrant who’s wandered into the gym.

And Tom handles it well. When the practice is over, he lets me walk about twenty yards ahead of him all the way to the car. As though I’m not his father. As though he too believes I’m an unstable vagrant who’s wandered into the gym.

But I don’t mind. I just get in the car and wait for him to open the door and sit in the passenger seat.

And as he does, I don’t start the car. I don’t do anything. Because I know it will make him turn his head toward me.

And when he does:

“Booooooooooooooooo.”

I boo the way he sat down.

And now for something completely different

After seeing some awesomely racist vintage ads on Holy Taco, I found myself inspired.

And JaMarcus Russell should also find himself inspired; the less he's in the news getting arrested for having illegal sizzurp, the less I'm able to Photoshoop things like this.

Speaking of tantalizing lines...

...here's Stephania Bella, from the Ore Archives.

Breakfast Granola for 1/5/11

As good as I've seen of the Auto Union Type-C is the "Streamliner" on Gran Turismo 4, and I'm hoping to rediscover it in 5. Here's the next-next best thing, from Jalopnik:

By 1936, the Auto Union racecar was powered by a six-liter supercharged V16 producing 520 hp. To say the Auto Union Typ C dominated racing was a matter of understatement. Of the Grands Prix Bernd Rosemeyer took in the Typ C were the Eifelrennen, German, Swiss, and Italian to give him Auto Union's only driver's championship. Hans Stuck came in second in the Tripoli and German Grands Prix. The notoriously tricky-to-drive ur-Audi could spin the wheels at 100 mph. Under the skin... Well, this is what it looked like.

The Sixteenth Decree of Simmslam

al-Jeff bin Simmslam has two whole plates of food, which he is consuming with gusto and nonchalance.

"Does this time of feasting have a name?" I asked.

The El Burrito pinto beans and Spanish rice are about to expire. My people call this time "Gassy."

Profound!

Meanwhile, in Poland...

Q: How many Pollacks does it take to roll a Kia Sportage? A: At least two. One to drive the Kia and the other to film it for Youtube.

From Jalopnik. Wait for it: 0:16...



More impressive than the superficial fail of trying to rally a Kia Sportage (let alone Kia ANYTHING), and more impressive than the technical fail of braking hard at a steep decline (which will throw the weight of the vehicle forward, and therefore down), must be that these Poles were herp-derping as their buddy was giving himself an impromptu Korean spindry.

You Poles need to contact your union. This is why there's an entire segment of jokes devoted to you!

Breakfast Granola for 1/4/11

Reason #4080 why Chrysler Sebrings were wack...

Best face forward

This is Madalina Diana Ghenea, and she's new for 2011! Say hi everybody!

Found on Holy Taco.

Breakfast Granola for 1/3/11

Happy New Year, and welcome to 2011!

No-account nobodies, derelicts, and ugly bitches to the left. Beautiful people to the right. Thank you for your cooperation.

Niagara Falls (picture) was at least mildly related to the past 96 hours; image from Wikipedia.