Friday, October 30, 2009

Because I hate Halloween

Speaking of Apaches...

Wait for it: 2:00...

Breakfast Granola for 10/30/9

Another solemn Friday and another farewell; today is the last day for FMD Apache Chief, aka Plunda Claus. When the time comes for a new satellite dish, I'll know who to call.



Now, GTFO and run, dummy!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Where the hell did this come from?

Crankmonkey with an interesting observation on the film "Candyman," in short, "Why?" We have since speculated that it went something like this...
Once upon a time, the Hollywood Jewry in charge of TriStar Pictures were at the Coconut Grove, wondering amongst themselves about things that made them afraid.

"Coloreds!" one exclaimed. "They scare me."

Nodding ensued around the table, and someone scrawled "black" on a napkin.

"Hook hands," another answered. "My gardener has one and it creeps me out."

More nodding as their recorder marked "hook-handed" on the napkin.

After a long while and part of a drink later, someone else piped up, "I'm allergic to bees."

Once the recorder inscribed "bees (the kind that sting)" on the napkin, he nodded contemplatively and declared, "If we made a movie about a darkie with a hook hand that was made out of bees, it'd be the most frightening thing ever!"

"But what would we call him?" someone asked.

A delivery guy shows up and asks, "Candygram for TriStar?"
And thus, a minor horror franchise based on a Clive Barker short story was born.

More from NBCAM

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month is drawing to a close, so time is limited for inclusions like this. Pay no attention to the blonde thing in back, but the brunette up front in the red bunny costume is Miriam Gonzalez.

Found with other mammary tributes on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 10/29/9

Just in time for Halloween, "Lovecraft 101: Get To Know The Master of Scifi-Horror":
You've heard about Cthulhu, and you've probably heard about the man who created this tentacled horror, H.P. Lovecraft. Now you want to try delving into the world of Lovecraft, but where to start? Let us help you.

Crucial Stories

There are so many terrific, iconic stories by HP Lovecraft that no introductory list could ever satisfy completely. But here are eight stories and novellas that will introduce you to the main concepts in Lovecraft's world, as well as exposing you to some of his obsessive preoccupations. You can read the full text of all of these stories at Project Gutenberg....
Read the rest on io9.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A dark day indeed

If you have to march in the streets for tasty adult beverages, what's this world come to?

Found with other WTF on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 10/28/9

FAIL!
Bradley [Cooper] takes on the role of Face, originated by Dirk Benedict...

[....]

Liam Neeson plays team leader Hannibal, originally played by George Peppard, Sharlto Copley takes on ace pilot Murdock, originated by Dwight Schultz, and Ultimate Fighting Championship star Quinton "Rampage" Jackson tackles Mr. T's role of B.A. Baracus.

"Less gold, more muscle," says Quinton.
FAIL, FAIL, FAIL, and EPIC FAIL. Thanks for ruining my childhood, Hollyweird!

Found via Jalopnik on ET Online.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Your day cannot be this FAIL

The Only NFL Review You Need for Week 7

The Niners lost and so did the Raiders. Week 7 was a mess.

This week's Chicken Dinner goes to Anquan Boldin for valiant and productive effort though injured in an Arizona win. This week's Goat goes to JeMarcus Russell for butterfingers and a rubber arm in Oakland's defeat; Mark Sanchez already had a hotdog.

Breakfast Granola for 10/27/9

More BMW dicketry; wait for it: 0:18:



Found on Jalopnik.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Big Easy

Ferrin Ceballos is six feet tall and from New Orleans. Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Found via Holy Taco on Uncoached.

The last thing an enemy plane sees before it dies

Don't get Stung.

Found with other WTF on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 10/26/9

Ah, Monday. It's the start of that break between weekends called the week, which is what weekends themselves are for.

Drink in some Erica Campbell and don't forget it's still National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Healthy breasts are happy breasts

Erica and other "sweater kittens" were found via Hollywood Tuna on Coed.