BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVAR!

see more Fail Blog

Speaking of...um, what were we talking about?

Miranda Kerr, the OTHER Victoria's Secret model with a cute booty.

Found on F-listed.

Breakfast Granola for 7/17/9

Let's call this v2.0...


moar funny pictures

Take me to your leader. OK, your OTHER leader. Then WTF's in charge!?

After another fit of power failure (in more ways than one), I'm Mining remotely. Or at least, I'm supposed to be, but I instead decided to Google "bosses suck," and the top result was How to Not Suck as a Boss, which I find very apt...

Most workers hate their bosses, for good reason:

• "I'm right. You are wrong. Obey me," they preach and pout.


• "I'm higher on the organizational chart. That means I'm better than you. Obey me." the arrogance goes.


• "Wrong. Horrible. Do it again," says the power-hungry, hierarchical bastards sitting on their ivory towers thinking they're kings of the jungle.

And that's just the beginning...

Chocolate vs. Vanilla, Take 2

I've touched on Mac vs. PC previously with little to no ire, but I call bullshit on Microsoft Chief Operating Officer Kevin Turner when he claims that Microsoft was asked by Apple to pull 'Laptop Hunter' ads suggesting Apple computers were expensive.

"We're just going to keep running them and running them and running them," Turner said during a Wednesday address to Microsoft's Worldwide Partner Conference 2009.

Turner said the call from Apple took place two weeks ago, and the attorneys asked that the company no longer run the ads because the company had "lowered our prices."

[...]

An Apple spokesman had no immediate comment.

Mac-evangelist that I am, I'll take a three-round burst at Turner by saying 1) I don't believe you, 2) run those ads all you want because they don't speak to what headaches and heartbreaks lie in store for the price, and 3) Apple at least took a step in lowering prices, so I call upon Microsoft to do likewise on their part by increasing quality.

Or "lowering suck," if you will.

Jeff, have you been talking to this guy?

Man with Down's -- whose mother tried to get a woman to de-virginize him -- turns down all sex offers.

Otto Baxter, 21, made headlines around the world when his mother Lucy, 50, said she was even willing to hire a prostitute to fulfil his wish.

But despite numerous offers – including a chance to sleep with Australian sex worker and campaigner Rachel Wotton – he has told his mum he wants to wait for Miss Right.

[....]

Mum Lucy, who adopted Otto from birth, said he almost popped his cherry when Rachel Wotton, 32, a prostitute who specialises in providing sex for disabled people, visited their home in Abingdon, Oxon, in May.

She said: "A production company contacted us and said they wanted to talk to us with Rachel about the sex industry and people with disabilities.

"Otto was besotted with Rachel, she was very beautiful and dynamic and he could have easily made arrangements with her to have sex, but he didn't."

Filed under the "doing it wrong/fail/WTF?" trifecta because although Rachel Wotton isn't amazing looking, she might be all sugar walls, rusty trombones, butthole pleasures, Cincinnati bowties, and pussy juice cocktails. Her whoring has to be built on something, and this kid isn't exactly Tom Cruise, despite the similar haircut and observable acting range.

Like a wise man once said, "You're sleepin' on them cheeks, blood."

From The Telegraph.

Breakfast Granola for 7/16/9

Like Momma always said, "There's a reason for everything...including why that fatty is so damn fat." Sure, that vehicle might be called a "Hoveround," but the creature on its back looks more like she's "Hover-bound."

I especially like the suggestion to listen to "Ridin' Dirty" while perusing the gallery sequence...

They see me rollin'
They hatin'
Patrollin'
They tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty.

Honestly, somebody needs to do something about how fat you are.

Found on Jalopnik.

Who's that girl?

She definitely looks like we've seen her before, but I still don't know her name. Sigh.

Found on today's Use My Computer.

Number 6!

John Blake writes an article that is, to me and all Fellow Mining Drones, a reality known from time immemorial. Or at least, since sometime in 2008.

Via CNN: "Is 'absolutely' overused? Absolutely!"

It's a verbal virus that's spreading unchecked on TV, radio and in print.

Want to sound certain? Want to remove all doubt? Want to be a commentator on TV?

Absolutely.

It has become the standard reply to every question or comment. It clings like lint to our conversations.

[....]

Will constant use of the word, though, drain it of all of its meaning? Maybe.

A wise man once said, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no; anything beyond this is evil."

Was he right?

Absolutely.

Or as we like to say in The Mine, "Number 6!"

Breakfast Granola for 7/15/9

I like Denise Milani; get used to it.

And for the record, I declare that I've never before seen a more willful ignorance than the disregard for reality of yesterday afternoon.

Denise Milani was found on Hollywood Tuna.

GM: Again with teh FAIL

Apologies to Camaro fans, but -- yeah -- I'm laughing at your car again...

Our engineering team is reviewing data related to the performance of the manual transmission on the Camaro SS, and have temporarily stopped shipment of this model to the dealers.

According to Jalopnik, it's because "some owners have complained of problems after using the Launch Control feature." WTF does the new Camaro need "Launch Control" for? Too much trouble getting it to go with just hands and feet?

Polish sex-ed = FAIL

Via Brit tabloid The Sun:

A woman is suing an Egyptian hotel claiming her daughter got pregnant - from using the swimming pool.

Magdalena Kwiatkowska's 13-year-old returned to Poland from their holiday expecting a baby.

Magdalena believes the teenager conceived from stray sperm after taking a dip in the hotel's mixed pool. She is now seeking compensation from the hotel.

A travel industry source said: "The mother is adamant that her daughter didn't meet any boys while she was there.

"She is determined to go ahead with the case."

Tourist authorities in Warsaw, Poland, have confirmed they received the bizarre complaint.

Breakfast Granola for 7/14/9

I have no idea who this is, but she was on today's Use My Computer. Random quatloos and your name on an update if you can identify the owner of these very long legs.

Time keeps on slippin'

How can you go wrong with a watch that's codenamed "King Cobra"?

It offers up horizontal hour and minute indicators in the form of retrograde cylinders, a dedicated numerical seconds display, and a refined yet futuristic look that is sure to jazz up any ensemble, whether it be a suit and tie or tee and cargo shorts.

The Urwerk UR-CC1 was found on Uncrate.

Speaking of tight...

Lots of people don't like Kim Kardashian. But then I don't like lots of people.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Truth...

...thy name is Failblog.


see more Fail Blog

Breakfast Granola for 7/13/9

I have to cosign F-listed's Miss Sabrina when she says:

[S]omething about this video is so wrong, and probably it’s the fact that an accused child molester is singing along to a song by another accused child molestor. Just sayin’.