Adult adjunct

I have a copy of The Dangerous Book For Boys, which is cool to have for all the interesting and practical topics it covers, but this looks to be the grown-up, yet foolish, version.

Looking for some backyard adventures to close out your summer? Grab yourself a copy of Absinthe & Flamethrowers: Projects and Ruminations on the Art of Living Dangerously ($12), and get to work. Featuring everything from instructions on how to make your own black powder, flamethrower, rockets — even absinthe — it also give you tips on eating dangerously, cigarette smoking, and other modern day no-nos that will have you feeling like a real man in no time.

Me wants to see what the knives on the cover are for.

Found on Uncrate.

Questionable practices

Behold, Aria Giovanni and a frying pan, as seen on Hollywood Tuna...



I've already discussed women and food, and while I acknowledge this attempt, I observe with some apprehension:

1) Slicking a pan meant for eggs with cooking spray = FAIL. Bacon grease or butter is better.

2) The first shot of the egg going into the pan, where the white stays clear = FAIL. The pan's not hot enough.

3) Using a metal spatula on a nonstick pan = FAIL. That's the fastest path to pan death.

4) Eggs sunny-side-up/over easy NOT on toast = FAIL, especially when you have a chance to toast in bacon grease.

The highlight of the video, when she puts fork to mouth and jiggles: wait for it: 2:10. Oh, Aria...I'd never let you cook me an egg, but you can bounce around my kitchen all you want.

Breakfast Granola for 8/7/9

Ines Cudna in green terry is not only what's for breakfast, but our designated flotation device for the day.

Found on F-listed.

Thursday wrap

Not even Pedobear wants a dose of Horseface.

Boy, are you on drugs?

Failblog calls this FAIL, but I think it's just funny. Kid's gotta be on something...

Caramel

Because she is sweet and brown.

Darlene Escoto was found on F-listed.

Taking it up a notch

As seen on Uncrate, I want to try some:

Ever wonder where root beer came from? Well, it used to be root tea, an alcoholic drink the settlers picked up from the Native Americans — but prohibition ended all of that, so it was drained of its alcohol and rechristened "root beer." Now you can get a taste of the original, organic, and very alcoholic tea with Root ($39). Made from birch bark, black tea, spearmint, sugar cane, and other natural ingredients, every sip is like a step back in time.

Special thanks to...

...Vanessa Hudgens, and all of the careless chicks out there taking freaky selfshots, for making this a Very Special Episode of Thursday.

See the NSFW via Media Take Out.

New object of obsession

Via F-listed:

Esquire Magazine: Do you like to cook?

Christina Hendricks: I love to cook. I just got a deep fryer, and it’s amazing. The first night we got it, we made homemade poppers. I mean, what’s the best deep-fried thing ever? Cheese poppers.

ESQ: Do you drink while you cook? Watching Mad Men always makes me want to drink.

CH: I love cocktails. My specialty drink is a gimlet with a little egg white in it so it gets frothy.

Um...we were doing OK up through "egg white in it." At the very least, please please please let it be a REAL gimlet: very good London dry gin + Rose's lime juice. I've never had one frothy, but I do believe it would alarm me. I'm used to gimlets being gemlike and clear, rather like potable citrine.

That said, it's tough for me to trust a woman who can't admit to enjoying good food and drink; I think it must be something visceral about nutrition not having to be bland, but moreover being fun. Better still: deepfrying and booze.

Christina Hendricks, I trust you to kill me.

Breakfast Granola for 8/6/9

Post Comicon, Olivia Munn's been spending the last week on Lake Como.

Italy obviously doesn't realize how lucky it is.

Another Canadian

The nicely tall (5'-10"/177.8 cm) Samantha Whitfield was found on F-listed and Model Mayhem.

Partygames with Nikon

Found on LGF, but a search of Youtube yields this British review:

Shark for dinner

What the heck is this all about?

Two nuclear-powered Russian attack submarines have been patrolling off the Eastern seaboard of the United States in recent days in a rare mission that has raised concerns inside the Pentagon, The New York Times reported on Tuesday.

[....]

One of the Russian submarines remained in international waters on Tuesday about 200 miles off the coast of the United States and the second sub made a port call in Cuba in recent days, the newspaper said, citing Defense Department officials who spoke on condition of anonymity.

In conjunction with Russian patrol planes likewise poking around, now's probably a bad time to cost-cut our air superiority capability.

Oops, too late.

Breakfast Granola for 8/5/9

File this under "Don't take fake shakes":

Two men who authorities say went door to door in a San Jose neighborhood in an effort to sell fake plasma TVs and broken computers as brand new merchandise were arrested by Santa Clara County Sheriff's deputies.

Darryl Williams, 48, and Vernon Green, 53, both from Richmond, were taken into custody last week on suspicion of attempted grand theft by fraud, according to the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Office.

[....]

Deputies searched the [suspects'] minivan and found 10 packages, each labeled as a brand new 46" Sony plasma flat-screen television that contained wooden blocks (about 46 inches in length and 3 inches in diameter) and 25 packages, each labeled as a brand new Dell laptop computer, that contained broken computers.
"One computer was missing 10 keys and was about 10 years old," [Sgt. Rick] Sung said.

At first, both men denied selling any merchandise to anyone in the area and that they were just 'hanging out,' Sung said. Once deputies discovered the fake merchandise, the suspects told the deputies that they were selling the merchandise as "gag" gifts.

Unfortunately, FMD Apache Chief and myself know someone who has fallen prey to such scams. REPEATEDLY. Let's just say that "Melty" has a lovely red ceramic Dell laptop and an equally priceless scrap metal iPod.

The moral of this story: Caveat emptor.

Where's my scotch when I need it?

Because there's a Denise Milani on the rocks that I must take care of.

Found via F-listed on Totally Crap.

Patlabor + Front Mission = MORAV?

Found this while wandering the intergoogles. The synopsis strikes me as a melange of anime/videogame plots -- chiefly Patlabor for its multipurpose "Labor" robots, and the Front Mission series for purpose-built "Wanzer" mil-bots and the geopolitics of their deployment -- plus others to a lesser extent, like Wolf Brigade for its alternate history of Japan during WW2.

Of note: Grant Imahara of Mythbusters fame is involved, and -- with this in mind -- Mine personnel, please observe the map of "Tangri" and take note of any similarities to realworld locations.

SKEET SKEET SKEET

moar funny pictures

The Middleman: The End

io9 has a link to the Youtube playlist of the cast doing a script re-enactment of the unfilmed season finale, "Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse," at this year's Comicon.

Caution: the videographer likes to use pan-n-zoom a lot and has a shaky hand; there are 7 parts, so you'll want to take breaks to avoid motion sickness and the urge to jump through your monitor and strangle this dummy.

Breakfast Granola for 8/4/9

Cthulhu fhtagn!

Found on Uncrate.

Day's/Dee's end

Monday's wraps on Lyla Dee, as found on F-listed.

Suddenly a fan of Milla Jovovich

She's thin, and she can look gawky and strange (hence the quick intergoogle raid for the accompanying image), but I suddenly like Milla for the same reason I like Angelina Jolie:

"I have so many weapons at home. It's not like I sit at home twirling knives, but I've always been into handling weapons. As a kid I liked ninja warriors, not dolls. I have some kukris. They are one-handed knives and a bit like machetes, very vicious instruments with a curved blade. They are used for hacking and I love them because they are so versatile. You can really get into the meat of an animal, slice cucumbers and kill zombies - all in one day."

Found via Hollywood Tuna on I'm Not Obsessed.

This is how wars start

What hath F-listed wrought?

A cautionary tale for Jeff

Via F-listed, a judge with slightly too much spare time was giving himself the business during his cases, including murder trials:

Police built a case against the judge after a police officer testifying in a 2003 murder trial saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson’s robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk.

Investigators later checked the carpet, Thompson’s robes and the chair behind the bench and found semen, according to court records.

The moral of this story: Save your interrogations of Cyclops Thompson for the deliberation chamber.

Breakfast Granola for 8/3/9

In case you wanted to remake Tales of the Gold Monkey:

Soar through the air and navigate the seas aboard the Antilles Seaplanes G-21 Super Goose ($TBA). A remake of the legendary Grumman Goose that ferried the likes of Hemingway and MacArthur in a long-ago era, the new Super Goose was built using the original Goose's FAA type certificates, engineer's drawings and blueprints, melding classic construction with modern technologies. Whether you're island-hopping or making your way to your favorite isolated fishing hole, the Super Goose will get you there like nothing else.

Found on Uncrate.