Dear whores of the internet...

This macro speaks truth.

Found on Sir Mitchell's Tumblr.

Gourmet Sabertooth Filet Anyone?

PABLO invites you all to his inaugural BBQ this weekend. Please bring your vegan friends. I would like to meat* them.

I will be addressing the Granola Mine team for allowing me this (pre)historic opportunity to contribute to the award-winning column.

Photo: TheDailyWhat

Just do it!

FMD Crankmonkey unearths these, but Pedobear probably doesn't need to be any faster or jump any higher.

Found on Catherine Doll's Tumblr.

Creepy WIN?

Seriously, this shit is the stuff of nightmares.

Found on Failblog.

Blanka

My favorite Street Fighter character, after work.

:D

via http://sirmitchell.tumblr.com

Breakfast Granola for 6/25/10

We need a whipped-cream cowgirl to get us through this strange Friday. Jordan Carver delivers!

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Twister will get you RAEPD!

This cautionary tale was found with other WTF on Funtasticus.

Something nice to come home to

It is cold and dreary and almost July. WTF GUS? Boobies will keep me warm.

Found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 6/24/10

For all of your annoying soccer horn needs, visit Vuvuzela Center!

Found on Funtasticus; soccer and its annoying noises can please leave now.

Lo Pan Express

This ode to Big Trouble in Little China was found -- surprisingly -- not on Jalopnik, but on io9.

Breakfast Granola for 6/23/10

Maggie Grace (aka Shannon Rutherford in LOST, and Kim Mills in Taken) was pretty hot when she wasn't pretty annoying. So, I have to admit she's awfully hot all of a sudden when she's not being marooned, killed, or kidnapped.

Found on Holy Taco.

The Eleventh Decree of Simmslam

Waxing shall be mandatory for all womens. Pubic hair is the gross and, therefore, haraam.

For the womens over 40, this will be loosely enforced. The dust will be too thick by then.

Culinary humor

Remark to your guests that it's time to cook, but you haven't washed your hands yet, so you have to go piss on them first.

Then excuse yourself.

Priceless.

Breakfast Granola for 6/22/10

Seems like summer is actually here. Image related.

The season-ready Jordan Carver was found on Hollywood Tuna.

Time for Richter Scale?

With the recent advent of summer, there's speculation that we're experiencing some "earthquake weather." Image unrelated.

Found on Holy Taco.

The intergoogles deliver!

More accurately, my target processor was able to identify Gilmara Jung among the Reef girls (third from left), but the intergoogles not only had enough visual data for the processor to kick in, there's video, too...



Let's hear it for summer, by the way!

Back to the Reef

Here's something we haven't seen in a while: Reef babes.

Found while wandering the intergoogles.

Breakfast Granola for 6/21/10

Now that Father's Day is past, and considering the tribulations of Jeff when it comes to cars (which are apparently haraam in Simmslam), I present Jalopnik's list of 10 things that Pop Spiegel taught Spike Spiegel (or that Jeff's father failed to teach Jeff):

1. How to haggle
2. The difference between a spark plug and a serpentine belt
3. Proper navigation techniques
4. How to change a tire
5. The value of proper maintenance
6. The art of parallel parking
7. Knowing when to hoon
8. The difference between want and need
9. The financial side
10. What's cool and what's cruel

Extra credit: