To get us into Independence Day on a high note...

I give you Hannah Hilton.

Be careful out there; you got 10 fingers for a reason.

Found on F-listed.

What the fur?

Kicking off with the headline "Fort Collins woman accused of sex with 'Furry' teen," the rest of the story is a tale of woe and EPIC FAIL.

A 45-year-old Fort Collins mother is accused of having sex with a 16-year-old boy who also was part of a group that enjoys dressing up as animals.

Richael L. Michels faces sexual assault on a child charges, according to the arrest affidavit the Fort Collins Coloradoan newspaper posted on its website. Her husband notified the Colorado Department of Human Services in May that his wife might be having an improper online relationship with a teen-aged boy, the affidavit says.

He also told investigators she had "recently become involved with a group known as 'Furries,' who dress up like animals and have social gatherings online and in person."

Members of the group gave statements to police after the woman's affectionate, sometimes intimate behavior with the teenager at Furries gatherings, called "furmeets."

According to the arrest affadavit, Michels is friends with the boy's mother. The boy told investigators Michels "even made a comment about the irony of (his) mom trusting her as a mentor ... and the whole time she was having sex with him."

The boy told police that he and Michels had sex several times, according to the affidavit.

For extra points, I defy you to gaze upon this Fort Collins MILF and not declare it EPIC FAIL for all involved.

Found while perusing intergooglenews.

Best. Clothesline. EVAR!

Wait for it: 0:38...


Biplane Clips Cow - Watch more Funny Videos

Poor moo-cow. You steak now.

Breakfast Granola for 7/2/9

The last song I heard on the way into The Mine today was "Hustlin'" by Rick Ross. Seeing Misa Campo brought back one good lyric: "Whip it real hard. Whip it, whip it, real hard."

Found on F-listed.

More from the Circle of Life

The mother of Shaunnia Hare, being a genius from Oxford, FL, had a boyfriend, one Charles Darnell, who owned a Burmese python without a permit. One escaped snake from the cage later, and...

"The baby's dead!" a sobbing caller from the house screamed to a 911 dispatcher in a recording. "Our stupid snake got out in the middle of the night and strangled the baby."

Sad but true: hungry snake + parenting FAIL = dead child.

Found while wandering intergooglenews.

Gravity will ALWAYS win

Crankmonkey shares this drunken FAIL from Break:


EMBED-Drunk Girl Smashes Her Face - Watch more free videos

Speaking of shockwaves...

I didn't know these had another name; turns out they're otherwise known as shock diamonds, Mach diamonds, Mach disks, or dancing diamonds.

A statically mounted Pratt & Whitney J58 engine with full afterburner on disposing of the last of the SR-71 fuel prior to program termination. The bright areas seen in the exhaust are known as shock diamonds.

Breakfast Granola for 7/1/9

Welcome to July, you damn dirty apes!

According to the caption:

A U.S. Air Force F-22 Raptor aircraft participating in Northern Edge 2009 executes a supersonic flyby over the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS John C. Stennis (CVN 74) while the ship is underway in the Gulf of Alaska on June 22, 2009. The visual effect is created by moisture trapped between crests in a sound wave at or near the moment a jet goes supersonic. Credit: DoD/Petty Officer 1st Class Ronald Dejarnett, U.S. Navy

Gives new meaning to "going buster."

Found via Yahoo! News on Live Science.

WTF?

Apache Chief brought this to my attention from the Drudge Report, ostensibly in connection to Michael Jackson's memorial at the Apollo. So, yeah...like the title says: Way to mourn there, Poverty Pimpin'.

P.S.: CAPTION CONTEST!

Justice for the masses (them asses?)

Postlunch and I'm back with not only a double-entendre, a double double-entendre. Damn, I'm awesome.

But (butt?) so is that double (bubble?).

The multifaceted Sakoya Justice was found on F-listed.

Get a saddle if you want to rattle

Hot ex-softballer Bianca Cruz, looking down for some hardball. And that's all I have for euphemisms and double-entendres until after lunch.

Found on Busted Coverage.

Breakfast Granola for 6/30/9

Sherlyn Chopra. Because I'm in a strange mood this morning.

Found on today's Use My Computer.

Everything you really need to see from the G.I. Joe movie

Seriously, I don't have to watch it now, thus saving 90 to 120 minutes of my life. Scarlett looking pretty is all I need to get by.

Found on io9.

Tical POW!

Wait for it: 0:55...



Ah, the circle of life. Or as Olivia Munn would tell you: "This is fucking nature!"

Breakfast Granola for 6/29/9

This video is made of awesome and win. You can thank me later.