another chart that means something

Save me, Johnnie Walker!

Let's hear it for BOOBS!

Found with a gallery of female breasts on Funtasticus. Yum...

Breakfast Granola for 1/15/10

Reason #4080 for why GM went bankrupt: Bob Lutz doesn't "get it"...

"[T]here's a possibility of a premium Chevrolet sedan that would be sold in limited numbers. Think of it as a kind of four-door Corvette"

No, when I think of four-door Corvette, I think of EPIC FAIL because there's no such thing. However, when I think of Chevy sedan I think of some nameplates that aren't in use: Nova, Nomad, Bel Air, and Caprice. Unfortunately, I also think of the whackness that is the 2000-onwards Impala.

Go with Bel Air, just so you can get Will Smith to rap on the commercials.

Found on Jalopnik.

What the...

Jeff says no to Bakesale Betty's?

Next time, do it like this:

Andy Samberg - I Threw it On The Ground - watch more funny videos

The Buildup

And perfect delivery

Dogs are assholes

Dogs often know when earthquakes are coming, but then they act the same way if they're sensing a temblor as they're having a fit of the retarded crazies. You won't have to wait long to figure out what this dog from Arcata knows: 0:04...



So much for being Man's Best Friend. Hope some falling cornice gets you, Fido!

Found on the Daily Mail.

R.I.Pendergrass

Teddy Pendergrass died January 13, 2010, age 59. So sad.

Breakfast Granola for 1/14/10

If I had my way, that sign would be ENFORCED! Fuck snow.


see more Epic Fails

Countdown

Twenty-four hours to Bakesale Betty's lunch. That's two breasts on a roll, kids. Picture unrelated.

The verdantly tantalizing Sofia Vergara was found on F-listed.

Autograph FAIL

Jack Nicholson says, "You're doing it wrong."

Found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 1/13/10

Ugh. Need a really hearty breakfast to start this Humpday. Jenna von Oÿ saves.

From the wallpaper collection.

A great big bundle of...

...ass, complete with names and products you know, like Laura Dore and Reef. DIG IT!

Found on Coed.

Just in time for lunch

New desktop wallpaper of Christina Hendricks. Developed from a slightly bigger hi-res image found on a purposeful hunt of the intergoogles.

WHAT. UP.

The Only NFL Review You Need for the Wild Card Playoffs

The Jets, Cowboys, Ravens, and Cardinals advance; 2/3 of the teams possible for an "all-bird" Super Bowl are in place.

This week's Chicken Dinner goes to Arizona's Karlos Dansby for a defensive score in a game dominated by massive offensive capability. This week's Goat goes to New England's Tom Brady for pitching a 49.1-rated game (23/42, 3 sacks, 3 picks) enroute to a 33-14 embarassment.

Speaking of dirty asses...

BEST. ADVICE. EVAR!!!1!

Breakfast Granola for 1/12/10

I know malls have restrooms, so WTF GUS? P.S.: This also adds another choice to the sit-to-wipe/stand-to-wipe debate: no-wipe.

Familiar FAIL

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Speaking of the Morgan Aero 8...

...one gets smoked in this short film, also found on Jalopnik.

Via the Giz

How many reverse gears to be that retro?

Some automakers do retro right, and some do retro wrong. I'm probably wrong to call the Morgan Aero retro because they've pretty much looked like this since the postwar Morgan 4s.

For additional salt into Chevy's game: the really cool Morgans are the Super Sports of the 1930s. Too bad there's no such thing as a Chevy Super Sport anything anymore...

Found on Jalopnik.

Breakfast Granola for 1/11/10

Today's tract from (the Black Books version of) The Little Book Of Calm: Summer doesn't have to be a season; it can be a state of mind. When it's cold, imagine yourself somewhere tropical. Palm trees, beach umbrellas, sunshine, and the warm gaze of Arianny Celeste demanding that you dip her bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams . You are a cabana boy of calm.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.