We leave you this week...

...on your collective asses with this classic single shot drop. Wait for it: 0:26...



Found with other beatings via F-listed on Caveman Circus.

Everybody wants some

Once again, it's a Bakesale Betty's Friday, and the star is the chicken sammich, two big breasts on a roll. Picture unrelated.

Found with other wild Friday chicks on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 2/12/10

The awesome part is the ignorant commentary on the Youtube page, and is Exhibit #4080 for why the bulk of the google-tripping public is brainless. I can just see these slackjawed morons flicking Funyun dust from their fingertips to poke out "y evrbody standig arond y dont nbody do somethin".

A: That's an aluminum bat, capable of delivering sufficient kinetic energy to smack a baseball in excess of 400 feet, and -- empty and thick though your head may be -- your head stands perhaps only a middling chance at survival when the bat is wielded by someone with obvious mental issues.

However, Batman vs. Walmart TVs = your video wackiness for at least a fortnight.

Found on Boing Boing.

Level off

WANT, from Uncrate:

We're fans of nautical threads, so why not other accessories? The Portside Flask ($30) takes its design cues from the portholes on sea-faring vessels, with a window that lets you see the beverage inside. Made from stainless steel with a screw-off top, it holds up to 4 oz. of your favorite liquor.

Speaking of a job well done...

...you have to get that job in the first place. Granola Mine Director of Personnel Chopper Read (aka Heath Franklin) tells you how!

Breakfast Granola for 2/11/10

From HipHopWired:

Nelly has finished his long and hard search for Miss Applebottoms 2010 after traveling overseas to find a woman worthy of the title.

As previously reported Applebottoms went international for their model search and took to the Netherlands to narrow contestants down to 15 finalists.

After a competition in swim wear, evening gown and casual, the judges unanimously picked 18-year-old Anna Perret of Amsterdam.

As Ms. Applebottoms 2010 Anna will represent the brand through commercial campaigns and advertisements. She also won €15.000,- in Apple Bottoms clothing and a photo shoot in Paris for an international fashion magazine.

Well played, Netherlands, well played.

This is going to end badly

I really want to know how this turned out. Not because I'd try it myself or I'm concerned with this dummy's safety. I just want to know how far away the bottle of Sriracha on the table got blown.

Found with other WTF on Funtasticus.

Jeff moved to Minnesota?

License plate FAIL found on Failblog.

Breakfast Granola for 2/10/10

Beaker will tell you: the Youtubes can be a cruel, ungrammatical, and misspelled place.

May come in *ahem* handy

Be thankful

Whatever happened to you today, at least your day wasn't quite like this.

Found on Funtasticus.

The Second & Third Decrees of Simmslam

al-Jeff opens his mouth twice this day.

In Simmslam, my god is named Raptorjebus.

Also, you suck.

Things that make you go hmm

LOST is on tonight. Image related. All of that island malnutrition (and magazine retouching) obscured that Evangeline Lilly had a booty quite so.

From the ore archives of The Mine.

Breakfast Granola for 2/9/10

Say, did anyone need a pair of headphones? Just askin...

Asking for it

The sporty Olivia Munn at some Super Bowl weekend, touch football event.

But seriously, touch football? That ain't no way to play the game. And with her in it? Gotta be full contact.

That means pads, cleats, and lots of yelling.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Outstanding!

Never letting any workplace related incidents go by without comment.

Lick it, suck it

From Uncrate:

Who's in the mood for some pig and alcohol flavored suckers? Lollyphile is a San Fran-based company selling odd lollypop flavors (4/$10), like its first two creations, Absinthe and Maple-bacon. The Absinthe lollypops are made with real absinthe, and the Maple-bacon ones (also available in a caffeinated version) are made with organic, cured bacon and Vermont maple syrup. Seriously. Other flavors include The Dude-approved White Russian, Pomegranate Tangerine, Wasabi-Ginger, Chai Tea, Irish Cream, and Bourbon. Get 15% off with coupon code: uncraterocks.

Breakfast Granola for 2/8/10

Super Bowl XLIV: Saints 31, Colts 17.

Irony: The Who closed their halftime show to "Won't Get Fooled Again." To open the second half, Saints kicker Thomas Morstead fooled the Colts recovery team with an onside kick. Saints safety Chris Reis recovered it, leading to a scoring drive (Drew Brees to Pierre Thomas, 16 yd TD) that put New Orleans out front, never to look back.

And so, with Week 22 of the 2010 NFL season complete, Final Chicken Dinner goes to Sean Payton for catching the Colts sleeping with the onside kick, while Final Goat goes to the Colts' Peyton Manning for throwing the interception that shoved his team right out of contention.