Oakland, representin'

Maybe we can make this the new Frinay?

It's Thursday, and you know what that means...

That's right: LET YOUR SOUL GLO!

Escalation of force

Jazmine Sullivan is fixing to get some bitch killed with her song, "Bust Your Windows." From Jalopnik:



Let's count the FAIL in this, shall we?

1) It happens in Detroit, which is bad enough on its own, but…
2) The cops leave, which for most humans is akin to being left unattended on a safari.
3) She's a Steelers fan. From Detroit. She might as well be Ben Roethlisberger himself. There will be RAPE.
4) And the Cadillac has a vinyl top. Sorrow & FAIL.

Look to the east

From SFGate:

Oakland, whose thriving African American community for decades shaped black identity for the nation, lost nearly a quarter of its black population in the past decade, U.S. Census data shows.

Now, Oakland has nearly as many white people as it does African American. It also has nearly as many Latinos.

The exodus left the city with a net loss of 33,000 African American residents and made Oakland one of the few big California cities to decline in size.

Unsurprising. I'm pretty sure I can tell you where many of them went.

Reason #4080 to hate Halloween

Freaks come out at night, right? And you'll be hard put to find harder freaks than in Oakland, especially at a Denny's. Via F-listed, and I dispute the "sexy" characterization of their post. Seriously, get a good look at those costumed hoes, if you dare!

Sexy Halloween Fight - watch more funny videos

So negroidian

Black folk, we got to do better!

Found, sadly, on Jalopnik. SMDH!

Jaywalking FAIL

Wait for it: 0:38...



Found via Jalopnik on Gawker.

Nuvo WHAT!?

Behold, a vodka to get shot over: Nuvo Vodka.

In San Antonio, a man who was mocked for his choice of Nuvo -- in particular that the shape of its cap is similar to many lipsticks, and was therefore made for women or homosexual men -- shot another man at a party.

FMD al-Jeff, on the other hand, found the bottle to be so attractive and well-designed that he insisted on purchasing one. A review (or fatwa on its halal-ness) may be forthcoming.

At any rate, pass me my Scotch.

Breakfast Granola for 7/9/10

Stay classy, Oakland.

Found on Chron.

The Fifth Decree of Simmslam

Ex-FMD Apache Chief inquires: Is March Madness haraam? al-Jeff replies:

During the time of March Madness, Richmond Characters may rape as many white women as they wish without fear of criminal charges.

This decree shall be known as Kobe's Law.

Err, that doesn't exactly answer the question, but...OK.

Gun safety FAIL

How hast thou erred? Let us count the ways:

1. Failed to treat weapon as loaded.


2. Failed to keep finger out of trigger guard.


3. Failed to point weapon in safe direction.

Congratulations, Plaxico Burress, Jr., your reward is a .40 S&W slug in the thigh!

Australian crackers

Wow. Watch some of the top, then 2:30 through at least 2:52...



Harry Connick, Jr. is a white kid of some privilege from New Orelans (his parents were judges, and they owned a record store), but heavily dipped in Crescent City music culture; i.e.: black folks, plus jazz and blues and funk and gospel. In NOLA, there used to be segregated Mardi Gras parades -- not only by race, but also by gender -- until he helped found the Krewe of Orpheus, which has no such limitations. He's also been active in local charity, predating (but especially for) Hurricane Katrina; his home neighborhood of Lakeview was near the broken 17th Street Levee and particularly hard hit.

So, it's no surprise to me that Harry's reacting the way he is; skip to 5:50 for some of his commentary and differences between American and Australian humor. I'd have thought that Australia's own problems with its indigenous population would have put the brakes on things like this.

Found via Media Take Out.

Jeff's best day EVAR!

Did anyone else know Richmond ran a marathon? Me neither.

Found on Funtasticus.

Pride & Purpose?

Spotted this on a random peek at Google News:

I'm really concerned that [Richmond (CA) Mayor Gayle McLaughlin] seems to have more of a personal agenda that may cloud her ability to effectively negotiate with Chevron. It's common practice for businesses to want and ask for tax reductions and its equally normal for city economic development officials (and that includes the Mayor) to structure rates that help businesses.

In all of my years in the public sector I've not seen or met a Mayor that didn't understand that, but Mayor McLaughlin's a new breed of activist city official. That's all well and good for getting elected but it seems to cloud one's ability to conduct the business of maintaining a municipality's economy. One can have their personal beliefs but when a city's unemployment rate is at almost 20 percent as is the case in Richmond, its a recession, and the job base has decreased by over 50 percent in the last two years, it's time to be more pragmatic and less antagonistic.

I'm surprised that the blog's author, Zennie Abraham, seems surprised, but then he might not be hip to Gayle's Green nature. Richmond's reward for the shunning of Chevron is cleaner air and one less industry expanding its footprint, which is absolutely her goal.

Of course, the trade-off is that the near-20 percent unemployment rate doesn't decrease, Richmond doesn't collect taxes from industry that doesn't happen, and the city still has all of the lovely crime to contend with.

The "City of Pride & Purpose" does it again.

Breakfast Granola for 8/5/9

File this under "Don't take fake shakes":

Two men who authorities say went door to door in a San Jose neighborhood in an effort to sell fake plasma TVs and broken computers as brand new merchandise were arrested by Santa Clara County Sheriff's deputies.

Darryl Williams, 48, and Vernon Green, 53, both from Richmond, were taken into custody last week on suspicion of attempted grand theft by fraud, according to the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Office.

[....]

Deputies searched the [suspects'] minivan and found 10 packages, each labeled as a brand new 46" Sony plasma flat-screen television that contained wooden blocks (about 46 inches in length and 3 inches in diameter) and 25 packages, each labeled as a brand new Dell laptop computer, that contained broken computers.
"One computer was missing 10 keys and was about 10 years old," [Sgt. Rick] Sung said.

At first, both men denied selling any merchandise to anyone in the area and that they were just 'hanging out,' Sung said. Once deputies discovered the fake merchandise, the suspects told the deputies that they were selling the merchandise as "gag" gifts.

Unfortunately, FMD Apache Chief and myself know someone who has fallen prey to such scams. REPEATEDLY. Let's just say that "Melty" has a lovely red ceramic Dell laptop and an equally priceless scrap metal iPod.

The moral of this story: Caveat emptor.

Politically bi

Keeping in mind that the City of Richmond, CA has a Green mayor, and has generally been on an anti-Chevron tear the past few years, I do believe this qualifies as going "both ways":

The Richmond City Council is asking Chevron to appeal the Contra Costa Superior Court injunction that stopped construction at its refinery earlier this month.

Chevron filed an appeal in state court to try to reverse a court ruling that deemed inadequate the environmental impact report for its project to upgrade equipment and refine a wider range of crude. However, the refinery did not seek a stay of the injunction that halted construction because it needs project and operational certainty to move forward, spokesman Brent Tippen said.

Council members passed a resolution Tuesday night supporting an immediate settlement among the city, Chevron and environmentalists so 1,100 laid-off workers can return to the refinery.

This is the same Richmond whose city council tried to extort Chevron into helping them close a $21 million budget gap, and usually stands in the way of pretty much anything else Chevron has either done or attempted to do. I personally think that Chevron's "going slow" to remind Richmond who's the boss.

Because just like you can't squeeze blood from a turnip, you can't pump oil (and oil revenue) out of a refinery that isn't refining.

Breakfast Granola for 7/7/9

Some Marion Barry LOL to start this Tuesday. He's not just a stalker, you know.


moar funny pictures

Paranoid much?

Victim and suspect in March 3 shooting knew each other, but...

When [decedent Rhonda] White pulled alongside [suspect Aaron Kalip Myers], he didn't recognize the car she had bought a few weeks earlier. Myers honestly believed he was about to be shot, and so he fired first, [Myers' attorney David] Headley said.

WTF, black folks? We got to do better.

Related: Ironic Granola Of The Day

Who you gonna call?

Giving new meaning to the observation "You sound kinda 'deedeedee'" is this incident from that "City of Pride & Purpose," Richmond, CA...

A man suspected of being involved in the killing of a 21-year-old man in Richmond was arrested after he called 911 for help with a knee that he hurt while running from the crime scene, police said Tuesday.

[....]

Police arrested Alfonso Lua, 19, after he called 911 for help with his knee injury, French said. He was found hiding in a carport near the corner of California Avenue and Rumrill Boulevard in San Pablo, police said.

Drunk is as drunk does

Some people just don't realize their limitations...

The whole thing is hilarious, but wait for it: 0:39 and 1:57.