555-PILLS

Pills: it's the solution to everything! Jeff, take notes…

Oakland, representin'

Maybe we can make this the new Frinay?

CAUTION: Dell causes heroin addiction!

Why do I say that? 1) I have to chip away at granola in The Mine with one, and it's juuust about usable. 2) It'll get you hooked on the smack!

Needless to say, I am disappoint.

Found on Failblog.

Read the rules

Most knifeholes loses the game. TIME TO DANCE!

The journalist's paradox

Journalists are an odd breed; most are at least liberal, and are rapid proponents of the freedoms of speech and press. On the other hand, they tend also to be rabidly anti-gun, by and large.

And so we cut to Mexico, where El Diaro de Juarez kowtows to the drug cartels so that they may be consumed last:

In a front-page editorial Sunday, El Diario de Juarez asked drug cartels warring in this city across from El Paso, Texas, to say what they want from the newspaper, so it can continue its work without further death, injury or intimidation of its staff.

"Leaders of the different organizations that are fighting for control of Ciudad Juarez: The loss of two reporters from this publishing house in less than two years represents an irreparable sorrow for all of us who work here, and, in particular, for their families," the editorial said.

"We ask you to explain what you want from us, what we should try to publish or not publish, so we know what to expect," it added.

It was the newspaper's second front-page editorial since gunmen attacked two El Diario photographers Thursday — one a new employee and the other an intern.

The new employee, Luis Carlos Santiago, 21, died and the intern was seriously wounded as they left their office to have lunch.

In 2008, a crime reporter for El Diario was slain outside his home as he was taking his daughters to school.

Dead, missing or fled
At least 22 Mexican journalists have been killed over the past four years, at least eight of them targeted because of their reports on crime and corruption, says the Committee to Protect Journalists, a U.S.-based media watchdog group that plans to present its report to Mexican President Felipe Calderon on Wednesday.

In Mexico, a land where criminals have the advantage of firearms, the free press withers and accepts its new role as hostage.

The situation is far more complex than the absence/presence of firearms -- there's drug policy, law enforcement, federal willpower, and public sentiment to also consider -- but I always found it curious that not all Amendments of the Bill of Rights get equal billing (or column inches) in the eyes of journalists, especially where the Second would go a long way to protecting the First.

JaWalrus Russell: FAIL Artist

Once upon a time, JaMarcus Russell was a quarterback of some renown and promise. Unfortunately, sloth and gluttony caught up to him, and his star faded considerably. Now there's some drugs into the mix...

Former Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell was arrested at his home in Mobile, Ala., on Monday afternoon and charged with possession of codeine syrup - a controlled substance.

Mobile County Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Lori Myles told the Mobile Press-Register that Russell was arrested during an undercover investigation. Police did not find a prescription for the codeine during their search. Although other people were on the property, Russell was the only one arrested.

He was booked into Mobile Metro Jail at 4:22 p.m. and released minutes later after making $2,500 bail. Russell is scheduled to appear in court July 20.

The Raiders released Russell, 24, in May after the No. 1 overall draft pick in 2007 posted a record of 7-18 as a starting quarterback. The quarterback's weight issues were well documented, teammates openly questioned his work ethic, and there were also constant whispers of Russell's use of codeine syrup.

Codeine syrup is sometimes used in a recreational drink known as "purple drank," "lean" or "sizzurp" as a means of enhancing the effects of alcohol. A popular drink in the South, it is a mix of prescription-strength cough syrup that contains the narcotic codeine and the antihistamine promethazine, with alcohol or 7-Up and Jolly Ranchers candy.

The Raiders had no comment, and neither Russell nor his agents could be reached for comment. Several former Oakland teammates had no comment, but one said, "It's not a big surprise; everyone knew he liked to party and chill."

Houston rapper Al D explained the effects of using codeine syrup in a recreational drink to the Houston Chronicle in 2007, saying, "When I was drinking 'drank,' I wasn't thinking about what it could be doing to my health. I'm 180 pounds, and when I was on drank, I was 240. It got so much sugar in it that it blows you up, and it makes you eat a lot, and then you got the soda."

The Raiders paid Russell more than $39 million during his three years with the team. They are seeking a return of $9.55 million on the basis that the money was paid as an advance against future years of his contract.

The Raiders cut Russell after trading for Washington quarterback Jason Campbell, but his release came only after they risked losing another big chunk of change by having Russell attend a minicamp. If he had gotten hurt, he would have collected an additional $6.45 million.

Oakland cut him the following week, saving that $6.45 million, but is still on the hook for $3 million guaranteed for this season.

Russell completed 52.1 percent of his passes (354 of 680) with the Raiders for 4,083 yards, with 18 touchdowns and 23 interceptions in 31 games. He lost 15 of his 25 fumbles, was sacked 70 times and had a passer rating of 65.2.

The Jets were said to have a slim interest in signing him last week, but told the New York Daily News on Monday that they will pass.

Found on the Chron.

Too soon?

FMD Jeff wonders...

Play Corey Haim Off, Keyboard Cat - watch more funny videos

Breakfast Granola for 10/21/9

You can never be a better stuntman than Tranqbear.

Speaking of a bad time...

This could've been your weekend instead.

Found on This is Photobomb.

Boy, are you on drugs?

Failblog calls this FAIL, but I think it's just funny. Kid's gotta be on something...

The other side of the coin

Once upon a time, Amy Winehouse was talented, pretty, and British-fit, fresh from recording a cover of "Mr. Magic" (with her vocals, it becomes "Through the Smoke"). And then beehive hair and crack came along. So sad.

Image found while wandering intergoogles for Bebel Gilberto image.

Everthing's Better with a Bag O' Weed

First he comes out as an atheist and now he's pro legalization of pot. I think Brian is going for most popular animated character in Internet history.

I’m a shit-handler! - Fucked Up Choose Your Own Adventure

Choose Your Own Adventure (On Drugs) | Cracked.com

“Shit! No! Not so much!” He jumps at you, but you deftly avoid him by falling over sideways, “You drank the whole fucking thing? This is peyote tea, man. You are fucked. You’re so fucked…”

Jump down the rabbit hole and choose your fate. I’m a shit-handler indeed.

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Can it all be so simple?

Police: Woman drugs boss's coffee

"Why?" you might be asking yourself...

[B]ecause she felt "he needed to chill out."

Sounds as good a reason as any to drug one's boss.

Canned Air - New Office Fun for Dr. J

Image by dickuhne via Flickr

Air Duster: The Drug Choice of a New Generation

She was a pre-med student on her way to becoming a surgeon, but the trauma of being molested as a child and her parents’ brutal divorce haunted Allison. She started to inhale computer dust remover, which is potentially fatal with each breath. Her erratic behavior and absence from classes got Allison dropped from the pre-med program. Allison is currently inhaling up to ten cans of dust remover a day. Can interventionist Jeff help Allison and her family?

Jeff can beat that. How about Ambien, Rockstar, various crazy meds and Dust Remover

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