Who doesn't like a large feline?

Ma'am, you have a big pussy.

Found on Funtasticus.

Don't jerk and drive

It's a good thing Jeff doesn't drive an 18-wheeler...

A German trucker suspected of driving under the influence of drugs crashed his vehicle near Borås in western Sweden on Tuesday. He subsequently admitted to masturbating at the time of the accident.

The trucker, apparently unable to reach a satisfactory climax, then proceeded to continue to pleasure himself while in the midst of a police interrogation, according to the local Borås Tidning newspaper.

“He was masturbating while the police interrogated him,” police prosecutor Åsa Askenbäck told the newspaper.

“He has admitted that he was not paying full attention at the time of the accident. He was playing with himself instead of focusing on the road.”

Found on Blog of Hilarity.

Overlooked

Among Denise Milani's various attributes, it bears mentioning that she has very nice legs.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Breakfast Granola for 9/25/9

Coco Austin leads off this Friday, somewhere in Vegas (I think), doing something mean and asymmetrical to a dress. Note: asymmetrical doesn't start with "ass," although it appears that it should end with it.

Found via Hollywood Tuna on Heyman Hustle.

Raider FAIL

The Week 3 game between the Oakland Raiders and the Denver Broncos is blacked out. In case it comes up again:

[NFL games] need to be sold out 72 hours before kickoff to avoid a blackout in a 75-mile radius.

Sorry, buh hye.

Found on The Times.

Government waste #4080

You gotta be shitting me...

The Fluffernutter, once defamed by a state legislator, could soon become the official sandwich of Massachusetts.

[....]

The sandwich is one of three foods that a legislative committee will consider for official state status tomorrow. The others are Necco Wafers, for official state candy, and Charleston Chew, for candy bar.

“A lot of these bills are filed by school groups,’’ said Lainey Titus, chief of staff for Representative Steven M. Walsh of Lynn, cochairman of the Joint Committee on State Administration and Regulatory Oversight, which is holding the hearing. “In general, a couple of these sometimes go through every year.’’

The committee will also hear requests to designate the elephant as the official state mammal, “Fever Pitch’’ as the official state movie, and 6 as the official state number.

Nothing important to do, like healthcare reform or ACORN-busting or picking a replacement senator? Massachusetts, here's your sign. P.S.: Marshmallow creme is as disgusting as Miracle Whip.

Found while wandering the intergooglenews on Boston.com.

Guess who?

Former FMD YTD, on his last day in The Mine, with Fat Spiderman.

P.S.: Sorry, had to hack your eyes.

Breakfast Granola for 9/24/9

Allison Stokke (right) in a bikini. Because I can.

Found on Funtasticus.

Speaking of athletes...

...I found another shot of the Oktoberfest babe from yesterday's Breakfast Granola, swigging her beer. There are few things more awesome than a woman who isn't afraid of a long, hard pull.

Found via Hollywood Tuna on Coed with 100 other Oktoberfest babes.

Breakfast Granola for 9/23/9

Allison Stokke is, without a doubt, the most lovely athlete in existence. Most pictures of her are from Newport High, so I figured I'd flaunt this find of her in Cal livery. If anyone could get over Hump Day, it'd have to be a polevaulter.

Image found on purposeful hunt of the intergoogles; read more about Ms. Stokke in this article found by FMD Jeff.

Speaking of awesome...

...I happen to know a bartender who looks just like Joe Namath.



Found with nine other sportscast FAILS on Holy Taco.

He knows when you've been bad or good

Santa Claus gots an M240. WHAT. UP.

Found with some daily cool pics on Funtasticus.

Don't I need a helmet?

Lacey Lynn Buhler. Because I like her thighs.

Found on a random sweep of the intergoogles.

The Only NFL Review You Need for Week 2

The Niners won but so did the Raiders. Week 2 could've been worse.

This week's Chicken Dinner goes to Ray Lewis for experience and instinct to finish an opponent in incredible fashion. Kerry Collins collects Goat for being a veteran who forgot the fundamental skill of holding onto the ball.

Breakfast Granola for 9/22/9

With the NFL upon us (and October nearly here), beer is back in style. Thus, I give you women in dirndls drinking lots of beer at Oktoberfest.

Found via Use My Computer on Gunaxin.

Yoga anyone?

Q: If one in the hand is worth two in the bush, what's this worth?


see more Fail Blog

Practice makes perfect...

...especially when it comes to the imminent zombie apocalypse. Shoot up some zombie targets the next time you're at the gun range.

Found via Boing Boing on Law Enforcement Targets.

Breakfast Granola for 9/21/9

I saw this episode of Jeopardy Friday evening, and F-listed sums up Wolf Blitzer's performance.

Celebrity Jeopardy is ice-cream-sundaes-on-a-Ferris-Wheel easy. We’re talking actual clues that include hints like, ”It was no ‘mission impossible’ for him…”

However, for poor Wolf Blitzer, Celebrity Jeopardy was not to include any ice cream sundaes or Ferris Wheels. It was hard, like division, and tying your shoes, and ignoring bullies!

Ol' Wolfie stunk up the place so bad that he wound up in the red (-$4600!) at the end of Double Jeopardy, but because it was a celeb edition, they let him into Final Jeopardy with $1000. The winner: smarter-than-a-news-anchor Andy Richter.