Read the rules

Most knifeholes loses the game. TIME TO DANCE!

The worst thing about Katy Perry...

...is Russell Brand. She needs to drop some weight: get that switchblade into the unfunny bastard and run.

From the Ore Archives.

One knife to rule them all

Maine doesn't sound like my kind of State; from Yahoo! News:

A one-armed horseman is asking Maine lawmakers to allow amputees like him to carry switchblade knives, which are otherwise illegal.

Paul Dumas Jr. of the Maine town of Mexico says that with only one arm — he lost the other to an electrical accident as a teenager — he can't react quickly enough in emergency situations like at an equestrian event he attended a few years ago.

"This is very selfish," said Dumas, also an attorney, who currently is forced to use folding knives. "I'm tired of opening knives with my teeth."

Like federal law, Maine statutes prohibit possession and distribution of spring-loaded blades. The federal law does allow an exemption for possession and transportation on federal property by a person with one arm, provided the blade itself is less than 3 inches long, said Donald Clark, an assistant U.S. attorney in Maine.

State Rep. Sheryl Briggs of Mexico, at Dumas' request, is asking for Maine to build a similar exemption into its law that would apply all over the state, not just on public property. The bill is awaiting a public hearing.

A fully automatic knife would probably be ideal for Mr. Dumas. Historically, I'm fairly certain one-handed use was why switchblades were issued to paratroopers in WW2: in case of injury, entanglement, or other disabling of an arm.

Alternately -- and I don't know that Maine's existing laws are kind enough to allow it -- there are non-automatic folding knives whose actions are smooth enough for one-handed operation. Being right-handed has the supreme benefit of carefree attitude in a knife shop or other cutlery emporium; I don't have to worry if I can operate a folding knife. However, I have left-handed friends who can also benefit from quality cutlery. The solution: ambidextrous operation, and there are plenty knives that fit this bill.

Shown is the SOG Pentagon Elite I. Along with its bigger brother, the Pentagon Elite II and the related Spec Elites, their Arc-Lock mechanism is smooth, yet secure, and can be opened and closed one-handed. There's also Benchmade with the similar AXIS Lock, used by the 530 Pardue and 550-series Griptilians. The only knife among these that I don't own is the Spec Elite I, and they're all great.

Maine should accommodate Mr. Dumas and anyone else with similar needs. If switchblades don't come through, he still might have some recourse through available cutlery.

CardSharp

From Uncrate:

Want to carry a knife but don't feel like adding any extra bulk to your already crowded pockets? Check out the CardSharp (£15; roughly $23). Thanks to its ingenious folding design, the CardSharp is the same size as a credit card, yet offers a 65mm stainless steel blade, and folds up securely for travel. A bit of advice: make sure it's not in your wallet the next time you're heading into the TSA line.

Breakfast Granola for 12/13/10

WANT from Uncrate:

Who said you had to be at home to enjoy the precision of a Shun blade? The Shun Higo Nokami Gentleman's Knife ($100) lets you bust out your culinary cutting skills wherever the need arises, with a locking foldout six-inch blade made from high-carbon stain-resistant VG-10 steel, a resin-infused PakkaWood handle with an inlaid silver and brass samurai family crest emblem, and an included black lacquer box with leather sheath. Good for cutting everything from steak to sushi.

Epic Knife

Seriously, that's Gerber's name for it; from Uncrate:

If you're stuck carrying just one knife on your next outdoorsy adventure, the Gerber Epic Knife ($30) wouldn't be a bad choice. This versatile chrome-molybdenum stainless steel blade features a textured nylon handle, a serrated edge, a blunt tip, an integrated bottle opener, and a locking sheath that also sports a reversible pocket clip so you can carry it on right or left side — which is really handy if your other hand is busy holding a beer or fighting off a hungry grizzly bear.

CRKT Eat'N Tool

A new Mine survival device from Columbia River Knife & Tool:

Our new Eat'N Tool™ is the brainchild of New York City designer Liong Mah. At first glance it looks like the familiar spoon/fork "spork" combination, but Liong has used his ingenuity and computer-aided design skills to create a lightweight, high-tech outdoor tool.

Yes, there is an ergonomic spoon, and a short-tined fork. But in addition, there's a handy bottle opener on one side. The right side of the handle is ground to provide an emergency screwdriver blade, which will also work as a pry for opening cannisters.

The large central hole is not only designed for finger gripping, but also keeps the Eat'N Tool weight down. Three metric wrench reliefs (10 mm, 8 mm, 6 mm) are useful for emergency repairs, and result in a tool weight of just 1.5 ounces (43 g).

For easy snap-on carry on D-rings or loops on clothing and packs, there is a carry carabiner (non-weight-bearing).

Found on CRKT.

Meanwhile, in the Zombie Apocalypse...

Found on Uncrate:

Whether you need to bust up an old driveway or simply want to make yourself a hole into the neighbor's bathroom for creepy, voyeuristic reasons, The Pulverizer ($40) is the tool for the job. At 3.5 lbs. and just over a foot long, it's sturdy enough to take some abuse while remaining small enough to pack along no matter what the job. Features include a industrial-grade sledge head with a 1.5-inch strike face, a two inch scraper and nail puller, a textured TPE grip, claw teeth for better grip when plying, and the strength that comes from fully-forged manufacturing.

Breakfast Granola for 5/7/10

Despite the profusion of sharpened steel in my possession, I only have one Gerber knife, a single-edge, Blackie Collins Frisco Shiv. Perhaps this will fix it:

Not content to just let a knife be a knife, the Gerber AO F.A.S.T. 3.0 Knife ($75) has a few tricks up its sleeve. Its Forward Action Spring Technology ensures the serrated edge blade is open quickly when you need it, and it also packs a bottle opener, carabiner clip, and a modified drop point that eases use when your mission is spreading, not slicing.

Found on Uncrate.

Breakfast Granola for 4/29/10

Here's an interesting gadget from Uncrate:

It's about time someone designed a true multi-tool that didn't look like a Swiss Army knife. The Byrd Harp Multi Tool ($35) instead borrows its design from the stringed musical instrument, with functional slotted- and Phillips-head screwdrivers, a punch/awl, a gimlet, a mini-saw, a corkscrew, a file, and a small/large head hammer that doubles as a bottle opener, all of which rotate out individually from an outer ring and fold flat for insertion into an included leather carrying case. Because you never know when you'll need to do some carpentry while sipping on some Opus One.

Breaking shields

Andrew Bawidamann's brother, Ben, is in the cutlery-making business. Behold, the RANDGRIDR, my latest want.

Today's trivia: in old Norse poems, or eddas, "Randgríðr" was the name of a valkyrie, and one translation of her name is "Shieldbreaker."

Breakfast Granola for 3/29/10

CAUTION: Do not attempt this at home! Try it at work instead.



Of course, while all the balisong flipping is going on, you could open any other type of folder once (or draw a fixed blade), chop off the flipping hand, then vent some throat with a well-placed poke. Effective and flashy, believe it or not, don't generally correlate.

Speaking of two men...

"Remember where you are. This is Thunderdome and death is listening. We take the first man who screams."

"Ah, swordplay!"

Based on a discussion with FMDs Jack Naples and Crankmonkey. This clip is simultaneous WIN and FAIL, and constructed entirely of AWESOME. Behold ye, the power of a shaman courtesy of The Mighty Boosh...

Combat Survival = Kukri

If you don't have a dedicated zombiesplitter in your arsenal, then you're not prepared for the coming apocalypse.

Battlefield use by the legendary Nepalese Gurkha troops fighting for the British Crown has long proven the value, utility and extreme cutting ability of the Kukri blade. Fearsome in design and use, our modernized production is made to rigid specifications with current materials. Perfectly balanced for chopping, cutting and all forms of combat survival.

Via Brigade Quartermasters.

In case of ninjas while drinking

Sister Saffron Monsoon alerted me to these.

This set of 9 throwing-star-shaped coasters can protect your coffee table, delight your friends, and assassinate your enemies. Shown in translucent black acrylic, other materials available.

Available in black translucent acrylic ($48), red tint acrylic ($53), and aluminum ($172) from Doug Best on Ponoko.

Crime doesn't pay

Foolish burglar meets armed occupant, FAILS it:

A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a man who broke into the garage of his off-campus residence early Tuesday, a Baltimore police spokesman said.

According to preliminary reports, a resident of the 300 block of E. University Parkway called police about a suspicious person, department spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said. An off-duty officer responded about 1:20 a.m. to the area with university security, according to Guglielmi. They heard shouts and screams from a neighboring house and found the suspected burglar suffering from a nearly severed hand and lacerations to his upper body, he said.

The suspect was pronounced dead at the scene.

The student told police that he heard a commotion in the house and went downstairs armed with a samurai sword, Guglielmi said. He saw the side door to the garage had been pried open and found a man inside, who lunged at the student.

Detectives were still interviewing the student and his three roommates Tuesday morning, Guglielmi said. Burglars had already stolen two laptops and a Sony PlayStation from the student's home Monday, according to Guglielmi.

Dennis O'Shea, a spokesman for Johns Hopkins, said all four residents of the house are undergraduate students at the university.

The suspected burglar, whose name was not released pending notification of next of kin, had prior convictions for breaking and entering and had just been released Saturday from a Baltimore County facility, Guglielmi said.

Michael Hughes of the 3400 block of University Place, about a block away from the scene, said he was working at his home when he heard screams shortly after 1 a.m.

"I could hear the fear in the voice, and I could tell someone was scared," said Hughes, 43, who works for Johns Hopkins' Bloomberg School of Public Health.

Hughes said he called police and could hear sirens as he was on the phone. He walked over to the crime scene shortly after.

"The body was near the garage. And I watched them carry the sword out. The whole thing was surreal and totally bizarre," Hughes said.

By Tuesday afternoon, two pools of blood remained on the ground a few feet away from the door to the garage, which is not connected to the home. A door to a wooden fence surrounding the back yard was broken, allowing the scene to be viewed from the sidewalk.

The three-story house has five bedrooms and two bathrooms, according to Diego Ardila, a junior at Hopkins. Ardila said he lived in the house during the summer and was a roommate of two of the people that currently live there.

Ardila, 19, said one of the roommates owned a samurai sword and generally kept it in his room. Ardila described the student as somewhat outgoing, although they did not speak frequently.

"He kept the sword on top of his cabinet," Ardila said.

Five people lived at the house during the summer, according to Ardila, who now lives a few blocks away.

"You don't expect to hear that someone you know killed a guy with a samurai sword. From what little I know of him, he wasn't some guy going out to kill," Ardila said.

Waiting for sword-control outcry in 3...2...

Found via Gizmodo on the Baltimore Sun.

Conan the Governor

Via io9:

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Twitter: "I do still have the Conan sword, and I keep it in my office. Here's a picture."

Truly pimperish.

Suddenly a fan of Milla Jovovich

She's thin, and she can look gawky and strange (hence the quick intergoogle raid for the accompanying image), but I suddenly like Milla for the same reason I like Angelina Jolie:

"I have so many weapons at home. It's not like I sit at home twirling knives, but I've always been into handling weapons. As a kid I liked ninja warriors, not dolls. I have some kukris. They are one-handed knives and a bit like machetes, very vicious instruments with a curved blade. They are used for hacking and I love them because they are so versatile. You can really get into the meat of an animal, slice cucumbers and kill zombies - all in one day."

Found via Hollywood Tuna on I'm Not Obsessed.

Classic steel

From Uncrate:

Take a trip back to 1891 with the Victorinox Swiss Army 125th Anniversary Heritage Knife ($495). Limited to just 1884 individually numbered units, the Heritage is a replica of the 1891 "Soldier's Knife" made by Karl Elsener for the Swiss Army. It features a large blade, punch, can opener, screwdriver, ebony hardwood handles, a certificate of authenticity, and will arrive in collectible commemorative packaging.

If you're not a collector but want the same array of tools, there's the Soldier. I have one; slim, simple, elegant and very durable with its Alox handles.

Alternatively, there's also the New Soldier with locking, one-hand-open blade, some extra tools, and what looks like green synthetic handles. Don't have one, but it appears more modern and apt for campers, hikers, and hunters.