What if...?

...Jeff were a supervillain, complete with powered armor?

I'd do the rapin's, of course.

FMD Crankmonkey wonders what his name would be, and has solicited a contest.

I have forwarded "Mecha-Pedobear." FMD Jack Naples supposes "King Tit."

Breakfast Granola for 3/12/10

Jeff's birthday is coming up. I think he'd like this. Although perhaps a little TOO much...

And yes, I believe that's a hollowed pumpkin on the bottom right.

Found on Holy Taco.

C'mon, this guy seems legit

see more Epic Fails

Too soon?

FMD Jeff wonders...

Play Corey Haim Off, Keyboard Cat - watch more funny videos

RIP Merlin Olsen

One-fourth of the only Fearsome Foursome that really mattered, Merlin Olsen, has left us at age 69.

Speaking of long legs...

...there's also Reby Sky, alleged QB in the Lingerie Football League. I'm pretty sure she's tall enough for it; it's tough to trust a short QB.

Found on F-listed.

Breakfast Granola for 3/11/10

Anna Kournikova has really long legs. That is all.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Me can has GT5 plz?

I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!

Awesome, there's SPRINKLES!

Cupcakes just aren't finished until they have sprinkles. OM NOM NOM NOM!

Found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 3/10/10

I once bought some Gatsby aftershave gel -- which was OK, though not better than the Nivea lotion I usually use -- but like the title says, WTF Japan seriously?

We leave you with...

...a foot in the ass.

Found with 24 other inappropriate children's titles on Holy Taco.

Rather Racist

Dan Rather = CRACKERTASTIC!

RATHER: "Listen [Obama is] a nice person, he's very articulate" this is what's been used against him, "but he couldn't sell watermelons if it, you gave him the state troopers to flag down the traffic."

C'mon now, Dan. No catfish and hoecakes to go with that?

In the interest of balance...

...I present Christina Hendricks and her delicious cleavage, long may it reign.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Speaking of Funtasticus...

...it's Tooshie Tuesday. Grab it fast!

Cameron FAIL!

I didn't see the Oscars, but this was my favorite part...

Okay, it looks like they got all that stupid actor shit out of the way. Now it's on to the James Cameron portion of the show. And the Oscar for Best, Most Awesome, Highest Grossing, Most Expensive and Elaborate Movie in the History of the World goes to:

NOT James Cameron, who strikes me as such a pretentious ass that deflation can be his only cure.

Image composition based on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 3/9/10

You remember Anna Perret? Of course you do; nobody forgets an Applebottom. Be warned, though: Dutch is a rather random-sounding language.



Found through a deliberate search of the youtubes.

Marksmanship FAIL

Kids, you have to be more sensitive about your beanbags:

A Vallejo teenager allegedly shot himself in the testicles Thursday afternoon, police said.

Police said the 17-year-old, whose name is being withheld because he's a minor, walked into Kaiser Permanente Vallejo Medical Center at about 5:45 p.m. with a gunshot wound.

The gun is still outstanding, police said, and the teen has not been cooperative.

I'm going to guess that the two prime rules of safe gunhandling were violated: treat every weapon as if loaded, and do not point weapon at unintended target. Because the testicles seems like very unintended targets.

Story found on Hotcoco. Image of Omni beanbag chair from Style Hive.

Speaking of long back stretches...

...here's the previously-seen Shay Maria.

Found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 3/8/10

I have no reason to purchase a PS3 until there's a GT5. Behold!



Found on Jalopnik.