The Granola Mine: 2009-03-29

Friday, April 3, 2009

Sweet Nectar: The Ten Most Expensive Whiskeys in The World

StyleCrave.com has a good post for all you whiskey lovers: Liquid Gold: The 10 Most Expensive Whiskies in the World. Heck, $75K for Macallan 1926 sounds resonable. Check out...

Most Expensive Whiskies in the World

Drunk is as drunk does

Some people just don't realize their limitations...

The whole thing is hilarious, but wait for it: 0:39 and 1:57.

Two Trailers for Films I hadn't Heard Of

Tim Burton's 9

A weird patch work creature tries to survive in a post holocaust world.

The Mutant Chronicles

Some kind of mutant outbreak threatens an alternate time line earth.

Both look like the look and feel is pretty cool. The story looks like it might not hold up for the Mutant Chronicles.

Also odd that both have a World War I motif going on. Is WWI hip again?

WTF - Is She Trying to Look Like Some Eighties Nagel Print

Paris Hilton, Space Unit - Celebrity Ragazine

What the fuck?

Another Gallery of Hot Chicks

Another random Friday gallery. I approve of many of the messages.

Friday Wild Girls | Funtasticus

Give Your Fear A Face: Behold the Posse Package

CBS 5 Eye on The Bay, did a segment of food deals last night. Lucky for us, they went to Back Forty Texas BBQ and showcased the Posse Package. The very same mound of slow cooked animal that Jeff consumed for the Back Forty Challenge. Behold the glory

Back Forty Texas BBQ

Elita Lofblad - Swedish Ass

Elita Lofblad sexy picture gallery | Funtasticus.com

Considering the recent relative drought of interesting posts this week, today has really come around. More Ass for everyone, hooray!

Beer Bongs and Chicks

Chicks Slugging Down Beer Bongs Is The Hotness Of The Day | Wii Hotties

Ahh college. What a magical time. Beer bongs and stupid chicks. Being from the pre-tounge stud era, this was as close to an ad saying, "Hey I suck dick and I like it" as we got. Thanks Wii Hotties.

Vanessa Veasley gallery...who's Vanessa Veasley?

Hail Mary Jane | Vanessa Veasley gallery

I don't know who this chick is. The gallery is super airbrushed, but still interesting.

Baconlube - Let's hope this is fake for the sake of America

The Bachelor Guy » Bacon Lube. You Know, for Porking.
I love bacon, I really do. I like pussy...maybe even more than bacon. However, this is not one of those Reese's Peanut Butter Cup eureka moments. I don't want the pussy to taste like bacon. Is this geared to boning fat chicks?

Lets hope this is an April Fools day prank that's stuck around a couple of days.

Breakfast Granola for 4/3/9

Louise Glover, having a morning stroke. Yeah, there's some new desktop wallpaper coming out of this.

Found on Horny Oyster.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I’m a shit-handler! - Fucked Up Choose Your Own Adventure

Choose Your Own Adventure (On Drugs) | Cracked.com

“Shit! No! Not so much!” He jumps at you, but you deftly avoid him by falling over sideways, “You drank the whole fucking thing? This is peyote tea, man. You are fucked. You’re so fucked…”

Jump down the rabbit hole and choose your fate. I’m a shit-handler indeed.

Now is the time when we dance

German retro-futuristic group-dancing - Boing Boing

Check out the wild futuristic dancing in this classic German 1960s space opera Raumpatroullie.

Raumpatrouille Orion

This reminds me of the SNL skit Sprockets.

Shawn Johnson Makes a Boner on Dancing With The Stars

Deadspin - Shawn Johnson Is Having A Rough Couple Of Weeks - Shawn Johnson

After Shawn Johnson spent last week worried about a deranged stalker, she returns to "Dancing With The Stars" only to be greeted by what appears to be a deranged boner in her partner's pants.

First a stalker and now syndicated FAIL. The video makes it even more apparent. Full National Network TV FAIL. At least Jeff can relate.

Peen + Soda = EPIC FAIL

Dude Dies After Having Sex with Soda Bottle

I guess we'll have to see if Jeff is still alive today...

A Singaporean died of heart failure after his genital became stuck in a soft drink bottle, reported Sin Chew Daily and China Press.

The incident happened when the 77-year-old man used the bottle to engage in a sexual activity.

China Press reported that the senior citizen got his private part into the bottle and only sought help after his genital could not be dislodged from the bottle despite trying various ways.

Doctors tried to alleviate the man’s suffering by cutting the bottle below the neck but to no avail. An inflammation later set in causing him to be unable to urinate.

His misadventure later led to other medical complications causing his death.

This FAIL was found on F-listed.

Breakfast Granola for 4/2/9

You gaze upon Ines Cudna, one of the more interesting items to come from Poland since Chopin Vodka. Drink up, my friends.

Polish import Ines Cudna was found on F-listed.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Old Robot Toy Commerical

Robot Commando commercial ( Ideal 1961 ) - Obey you new overlord!

Say "What" again, I double-dare you!

Drone Attack Kills 12 After Taliban Threatens D.C. | Danger Room from Wired.com

According to the New York Times, the attack was "apparently aimed at one of the area’s most important Taliban leaders, Hakimullah Mehsud" -- but missed. He's a top lieutenant to Pakistani Taliban chief Baitullah Mehsud, who took credit earlier this week for the slaughter in a Lahore police training compound. "It's revenge for the drone attacks in Pakistan," he told Reuters. Separately, Mehsud told the Associated Press: "Soon, we will launch an attack in Washington that will amaze everyone in the world."

How's that D.C. attack looking from Craterville now?

Israeli Ass

Shimrit As Gallery

Ass Shaking Video - Now with upside down ass shaking

Various booty shaking. I appreciate around 1:08....upside down ass wiggling. Good work cam whore.

Science Corner - Ant Slaves and Ant Spartacus

Ant slaves' murderous rebellions - Boing Boing

A fascinating tale of slave rebellion among ants kidnapped by other ant species and forced to work for the rival colony:

Some of its victims (ants from the genus Temnothorax) strike back with murderous larvae. Alexandra Achenbach and Susanne Foitzik from Ludwig Maximillians Universty in Munich found that some of the kidnapped workers don't bow to the whims of their new queen. Once they have matured, they start killing the pupae of their captors, destroying as many as two-thirds of the colony's brood...

That's right kids, not only do ants farm aphids, they kidnap and enslave other ants. Then some slave ants plan rebellion and rise up. Full on classic drama in the insect world.

This kind of shit can freak one out. Let's hope Jeff reads all the details.

Breakfast Granola for 4/1/9

April Fools, bitches!

And now for the news: Old woman in wheelchair shoots mugger, mugger files suit.

[Margaret] Johnson, a retired bus driver who has a dislocated hip, claims she was attacked in Harlem while travelling to a shooting range for gun practice on her motorised wheelchair. She said Mr Johnson, 48, no relation, tried to steal her handbag and gold chain.

In an attempt to stop him, she pulled out her .357 Magnum and shot [sic] him in the left elbow. Police caught him half a block away.

[....]

[Her assailant, Deron] Johnson, who has been jailed for drug dealing and has nine previous arrests for robbery, denied he was trying to rob her and claimed he was shot when he kicked the woman’s shihtzu dog, Malika, after it attacked him.

He was acquitted and is now claiming $5 million in damages for permanent nerve damage suffered in the shooting.

Sounds like Deron got what he deserved, and should be thanking his lucky stars that a more permanent form of nerve damage (i.e.: death) didn't result.

I was always taught shoot to stop, but in these litigious times the moral of this story has to be shoot to kill.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sasha Grey Might Have Taste

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Grab some pine, poverty pimp!

Wait for it: 0:43.

Damn, Sharpton was HELLA fat!

The September I remember

I'm surprised I haven't brought her up previously...

September Carrino, found on F-listed while wandering the tubes.

Speaking of pimps...

Pimps Using Science

Bitch, I do this cuz I luv u
A study has come out saying S&M brings couples together. So, I think this must mean that pimps beat hos just to keep the love strong. I think they should use this defense in their court cases.

Breakfast Granola for 3/31/9

Dear Sinful Comics wackjobs,

This is what Halle Berry actually looks like. Kill yourselves.

Thanks!
Spike Spiegel

Found on Chickipedia's "The Best Bond Beauties" via interGoogle wandering.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Weird Celebrity Cartoon Porn

Sinful Comics RSS! | Legendary Sinful Comics RSS - #1 Celebrity XXX Cartoons Website!
I stumbled across this when looking for Olivia Munn images on Google. This is a whole site that makes celebrity porn cartoons. Proving once again that people are weird and have too much time on their hands.

The image to the left is supposedly is Halle Berry. First off, why is she that color? Was your monitor not calibrated correctly when you made this?

It makes me think of the underpants gnomes... Lust after celebrities, drawn bad porn, ???, pr0fit!

Do the crime, do the...food?

Apparently, Terry Nichols isn't down with his prison food.

To which, Olivia Munn says:

Dear Terry Nichols,

Want to eat whatever you want? Don’t kill people and you don’t go to prison you sick fuck.

Sincerely,

Olivia

Werd. And Reason #4080 why I love Olivia Munn.

Listen to the guy with the Scotch

[Christopher] Hitchens: Why Texas Is Right on Teaching Evolution | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com

Rabidly atheist, hard-drinking, and not afraid to fuck with Syrian Nazis, his pickled brain boils down "creationism in education" to its essence...

Sure, discuss Darwin's 'strengths and weaknesses.' Just not in biology textbooks.

Gubment FAIL: Stupid People Steering the Ship

Image via Wikipedia

TYWKIWDBI: Creeping theocracy

The subcommittee is apparently holding hearings on matters involving climate change. Rep. Shimkus appears to hold the view that man's effects on the climate cannot be significant because "the infallible word of God (who says that "every inclination of man's heart is evil from childhood") states that such outcomes will not be permitted because "God's Word is infallible, unchanging, perfect."

Just watch some of the video. Can we please force all of these folks to leave the Union to form their own state? Or if the name is a sticking point (like marriage), if they want they can have the "United States" name and we can all leave the union.

Oklahoma Education FAIL - Faith Based Truth in Grading

TYWKIWDBI: Oklahoma is poised to enter the Dark Ages

The school would be required to reward the student with a good grade, or be considered in violation of the law. Even simple, factual information such as the age of the earth (4.65 billion years) would be subject to the student’s belief, and if the student answered 6,000 years based on his or her religious belief, the school would have to credit it as correct. Science education becomes absurd under such a situation.

Olivia Munn is the Work of the Devil - Praise Be Satan!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Monday, March 30, 2009

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