A Day That Can Never Be

And stop singing through your nose!

HA! It's funny because it's true!

And now for something completely different

After seeing some awesomely racist vintage ads on Holy Taco, I found myself inspired.

And JaMarcus Russell should also find himself inspired; the less he's in the news getting arrested for having illegal sizzurp, the less I'm able to Photoshoop things like this.

One in the head, I'm fed

Lovely though the thought is, I have misgivings about this image from Funtasticus; I suspect Photoshoopery.

Offhand, I cite:

• near leg looks thinner than far leg,
• high sharpness between thighs and edge of far thigh,
• ditto sharpness on waist, plus pinched distortion (kubire, or "inward dip" in Japanese),
• middle seam of jeans looks pushed up and right,
• inside of far asscheek doesn't look like it curves/tucks like the near cheek,
• near pocket tapering while the far one seems straighter,
• and the groove of her spine moves in/left, then out/right above her waistband.

Next time, I recommend duplicating and airbrushing back in more original elements to cut down on distortion effects.

Breakfast Granola for 12/2/10

I never did like Family Circus, and especially not Jeffy's spastic, wandering ass. Get 'em, Pedobear!

Photoshoopery by yours truly.

Breakfast Granola for 11/29/10

Happy post-Thanksgiving! I don't know if anybody traveled for it, but I hear the security checks can be dicey.

Accurate re-creation of TSA logo by yours truly.

It's Japanese for "special blur"

From Fabio of Abduzeedo, a bokeh wallpaper tutorial (with a soundtrack of Michael Jackson's "Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough" if that interests you); non-video version that some might be more comfortable following along with is here.

Digital Bokeh in Photoshop from fabio sasso on Vimeo.

RIP Molly Norris

Cartoonist Molly Norris is no more, but today we are all Molly Norris. If your religion can't hold up to some drawings, I'm sorry to say that you won't be able to stop all of us.

Fun Art Projects

Thanks to the mormans and imaginationland for filling in the blanks (2nd shot vintage M. Monroe):

Breakfast Granola for 9/9/10

I'd been hunting for a high-resolution image of the poster inside my "Hey Olivia!" magazine when it occurred to me: If I flatten it enough and stick it to the kitchen wall with poster putty, I should be able to photograph it, then Photoshop down the folds and wrinkles.

Behold my awesome! New wallpaper coming soon!

Someone needs a hug

Photosloop by me, Sad Panda found somewhere on the intergoogles.

Simmslamic intervention

al-Jeff beseeches his lord and savior:

From the Jaws wiki page. Please raptor jebus, save us.

In February 2010, film website Cinema Blend reported that a source from Universal Pictures has indicated that Universal is "strongly considering" remaking Jaws in 3-D, following the commercial success of Avatar.[85] The source also reported that 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan was considered to portray Matt Hopper in the remake, which they say could be more comedic and make more use of special effects.[86] The studio has not officially commented upon the rumor

Voice of Raptorjebus photoshooped by yourstruly.

Ace in the hole

Originaly found on Hawtness, fixed with photoshoopery.

Everybody Draw Mohammed Day!

Never a fan of the Facebooks, but here's the Everybody Draw Mohammed Day group. I've done my part.

If your religion says to flip out when somebody draws a picture, then there are some far larger issues you're avoiding.

Besides, Mo is a ROCKSTAR! He wants his picture taken.

Draw Mo Day!

week old news

To the patriots in Arizona keeping it white, er... real.

Breakfast Granola for 4/14/10

ONOZ! Cover your poopers, it's Ben Roethlisberger!

Shoop by yours truly.

Outstanding!

Never letting any workplace related incidents go by without comment.

Objects in screen may be larger than they appear

FMD Crankmonkey unearthed a strange ore (pictured), and wondered if it was P'shop witchcraft.

Perhaps, but perhaps not. I think it could be a flipped negative (note "yrlewej" sign in background) of Jaime Koeppe, shot from a sufficiently low angle that helps foreshorten her upper body to make her Great White Bubbleass prominent.

Googlehunt her and decide. If it's a shoop of Jaime, I don't think it's by much. She puts the "culo" in ridiculous.

Crankmonkey's questionable ore was struck on Double Viking.