Jeff's nightmare,
come to life...
Dozens of eastern tarantulas, known as "bird-eating spiders" have been seen in Bowen, almost 700 miles northwest of Brisbane, The Times reported.
It is thought the creepy-crawlies can grow to be bigger than the palm of a man's hand.
They usually remain hidden in gardens but have recently begun to venture into open spaces.
[....]
"I've warned folks around here to make sure they wear shoes and gloves when they are gardening at the moment as it can be a very nasty bite," [local pest controller Audy Geizler] said.
"I think I'm going to mount this one in acrylic to show people how big it is. It'll make a great paperweight."
Possibly larger than my palm, bold enough to wander out into the world, and heavy enough to be a paperweight? Fuck-a-that. Where's my
machete?
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