We leave you this week...

...on what might be Pedobear paws.

Found on Funtasticus.

Angry midget

No, it's not Jermaine Dupri. We're talking the OG of angry midgets, Gary-Muhfuckin-Coleman, throwing a tantrum on The Insider. Wait for it: 1:00...



Remember, Redd Foxx will tell you to not engage in midget fighting unless you've done midget fighting previously. Protip: Stab them in the top of the head.

Found on Media Take Out.

Breakfast Granola for 2/19/10

There's not nearly enough female oil wrestling in The Mine...



Fixed.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Bacon + Potato = ????

OM NOM NOM NOM!

With products like Baconnaise, Bacon Floss, and even Bacon Lip Balm, we have to ask: Why didn't someone think of this before? Who's Your Daddy Bacon Potato Chips ($5) are exactly what you'd expect — a delicious combination of potato and bacon. Handmade from high-quality potatoes and cooked with a proprietary blend of "bacony goodness," only those with the strongest of wills are able to keep from eating the whole bag.

Found on Uncrate.

Wanted

Lindsey Strutt -- who I don't seem to see enough of -- was found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 2/18/10

I suppose it's a good thing The Mine isn't at ground level...

STRIFE & CHAOS!

Breakfast Granola for 2/17/10

Some cool LOST artwork that accompanies a rather hokey io9 article.

Found via io9 on the blog of Disney artist Eric Tan.

New Mine sign!

Because we have standards, dammit!

Found on Funtasticus.

Speaking of EPIC FAIL...

According to the telemetry, late Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili was going 144.3 kph -- that's 89 mph -- prior to sudden impact vs. a metal pole. Wait for it: 0:07 (and 0:14)...



Winter strikes again with a mighty thud.

Found on Live Leak.

Breakfast Granola for 2/16/10

Olympic fever is upon us! *spit* Time for an Olympic Edition Caption Contest with Crazy Uncle Joe Biden. I'll lead off...

"Heil Canada!"

This foolishness was found on the googlenews.

We leave you this week...

...on your collective asses with this classic single shot drop. Wait for it: 0:26...



Found with other beatings via F-listed on Caveman Circus.

Everybody wants some

Once again, it's a Bakesale Betty's Friday, and the star is the chicken sammich, two big breasts on a roll. Picture unrelated.

Found with other wild Friday chicks on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 2/12/10

The awesome part is the ignorant commentary on the Youtube page, and is Exhibit #4080 for why the bulk of the google-tripping public is brainless. I can just see these slackjawed morons flicking Funyun dust from their fingertips to poke out "y evrbody standig arond y dont nbody do somethin".

A: That's an aluminum bat, capable of delivering sufficient kinetic energy to smack a baseball in excess of 400 feet, and -- empty and thick though your head may be -- your head stands perhaps only a middling chance at survival when the bat is wielded by someone with obvious mental issues.

However, Batman vs. Walmart TVs = your video wackiness for at least a fortnight.

Found on Boing Boing.

Level off

WANT, from Uncrate:

We're fans of nautical threads, so why not other accessories? The Portside Flask ($30) takes its design cues from the portholes on sea-faring vessels, with a window that lets you see the beverage inside. Made from stainless steel with a screw-off top, it holds up to 4 oz. of your favorite liquor.

Speaking of a job well done...

...you have to get that job in the first place. Granola Mine Director of Personnel Chopper Read (aka Heath Franklin) tells you how!

Breakfast Granola for 2/11/10

From HipHopWired:

Nelly has finished his long and hard search for Miss Applebottoms 2010 after traveling overseas to find a woman worthy of the title.

As previously reported Applebottoms went international for their model search and took to the Netherlands to narrow contestants down to 15 finalists.

After a competition in swim wear, evening gown and casual, the judges unanimously picked 18-year-old Anna Perret of Amsterdam.

As Ms. Applebottoms 2010 Anna will represent the brand through commercial campaigns and advertisements. She also won €15.000,- in Apple Bottoms clothing and a photo shoot in Paris for an international fashion magazine.

Well played, Netherlands, well played.