The Granola Mine

Friday, April 24, 2009

A long stretch

FMD Crankmonkey unearths this familiar and valuable ore: Stacy Keibler smoking hot.

Boned! 2012: The Grid Crashes

Quetzalcoatl warned you this would happen.

The Geomagnetic Apocalypse — And How to Stop It | Wired Science from Wired.com

Power grid operators now rely on one satellite called ACE, which sits about a million miles out from Earth in what's called the gravity well, the balancing point between sun and earth. It was designed to run for five years. It's 11 years old, is losing steam, and there are no plans to replace it.

It's Swedish for "Hey, I wanted that!"

Nope, not recommended.

A Swede has been jailed for attacking a cashier at a branch of a state monopoly alcohol retailer, Systembolaget, on the Baltic island of Öland.

[....]

The thirsty Swede visited the branch with the intention of buying half a dozen bottles of cider only to discover at the cash desk that he had no means in his wallet with which to fund his purchase.

As the cashier began to collect back in the bottles, the man put his finger to his nostril, blew hard and showered the hapless shop assistant with the contents of his nasal passage.

Hit me with a bodily subtance? Yeah, that's a paddlin'.

This sordid, nasal affair (and accompanying image) was brought to my attention from the far less gross Olivia Munn.

Poor Chun Li...

Amazing Street Fighter 3 match, despite that Chun Li gets handled.

Parenting FAIL: Gang Edition

Father/son bonding in Fresno: Gang member accused of forcing son's tattoo.

The boy's parents are separated, and the boy was staying with his father during the Easter break, said police spokesman Jeff Cardinale.

[Fresno Police Detective Jesse] Ruelas, who said the boy is "traumatized," gave the following account:

On Friday night, the boy and [the boy's father, Enrique, alias Henry] Gonzalez were at [fellow banger Travis] Gorman's house, where Gonzalez was getting a tattoo. Gonzalez asked his son whether he wanted to get a tattoo. The boy said "no," but his father held him down around his rib cage and waist while Gorman inked on the tattoo.

If I had to guess, Ricky wasn't too keen on his custody arrangement and was looking to renegotiate. Helluva way to get it to ZERO, though.

Image of (too good for a wanksta) Neuma Hybrid Tattoo Machine sourced from Uncrate.

"You're not going to believe this shit..."

Caught wind of this, so to speak, just before catching transport to The Mine.

Manure fell off a truck and is blocking the three right lanes of westbound state Highway 37 in Vallejo this morning, according to the California Highway Patrol.

CHP was sending traffic in bursts as frontloaders maneuvered to scrape the pavement. Early morning drizzle had turned that manure into mud, and the bucket scoops were sparking as they scraped. I can only imagine those commuters who were stopped and their calls to work...

"There's shit on the road. No, not generic shit like a shredded tire or a tarp or a dead dog or a dinette set. Yes, it is bullshit. Or maybe steer shit, I'm not sure..."

Breakfast Granola for 4/24/9

To everyone on the interwebbs, especially you impressionable (and hopefully hot) girls on the Myspaces and Facebooks taking mirrorshots of yourselves: Pedobear lives.

Coed Magazine has a gallery of galleries to document this phenomenon of the twittertubes.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jeff Don't Try This At Home

BBC NEWS | Health | Trying desperately to measure up

Doctors in Asia are treating an increasing number of men with severe injuries who have tried to increase the size of their penises by injecting themselves with Vaseline and other oils.

Now doctors in the West say the trend for self-injection is catching on in the UK and the US.

See also (at risk of damaging eyes)
BMEZine - Silicone Injections
Googe Images: Silicone Injections

Boned! Seven People in California and Texas Get New Swine Flu

That's all we need. I'm sure we've kept up funding for pandemic flu in this economy.

Reuters AlertNet - Seven people in U.S. hit by strange new swine flu

Seven people have been diagnosed with a strange and unusual new kind of swine flu in California and Texas, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported on Thursday.

All seven people have recovered but the virus itself is a never-before-seen mixture of viruses typical among pigs, birds and humans, the CDC said.