Toyz that fail

Found with 14 other unintentionally perverted toys on Cracked.

ONOZ infidels are laughing at Muhammad!

I'll give some fatback and corn liquor to anyone who can explain to me why Islam seems to be a religion of perpetual anger. From Fox News:

A radical Islamic website warned the creators of "South Park" that they could face violent retribution for depicting the Prophet Muhammad in a bear suit.

[....]

RevolutionMuslim.com posted the warning following the 200th episode of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's "South Park," which included a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad disguised in a bear suit. The web posting also included a graphic photo of Theo van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary on violence against Muslim women.

"We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show," the posting reads. "This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them."

Sounds like the poster is saying "This isn't a threat, but an outraged Muslim will probably stab you to death in the manner of Theo van Gogh." Why, that's just neighborly of y'all!

Pfft. Send me one of those jihadis and I'll send it back perforated. Μολὼν λαβέ, bitches!

Breakfast Granola for 4/22/10

"Soldiers vs. Cthulhu?" Tell me more:

[30 Days of Night artist Ben Templesmith says] "So far, all I can say is sort of Band of Brothers...but with SQUID. (Well, Cthulhu-ish ideas and my love of all things tentacular.) Yes, it's a war comic. Want to get all emotional and down and dirty with it. Not exactly comedy in the vein of Wormwood.... It's post-apocalyptic. I deals with a small group of soldiers, as the human race is reduced to relatively low tech solutions to claw back their planet, the new religion that drives them on to this goal in the face of hopelessness...and all the stuff that comes from such things. Many horrific and hopefully, some touching "tales from the front" in many ways. And of course, they'll end up being players in a major event that may define the now generations long conflict."

Found on io9.

Today's refined nugget of joy

Mmm, Twin Independent Variable Cam Timing...

Manifest

Hip hop loses a giant; Keith Elam, aka Guru, succumbed to cancer at age 47 (or 43?).

Once upon a time, music in general -- hip hop included -- used to be this good.

Pretty in pink

And orange fishnets. And rollerskates. Yummy Jordan Carver is putting the humps into Humpday.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Breakfast Granola for 4/21/10

Today, we break our fast in Hungary. Unfortunately, Kovacs Zsofia is making me quite hungry.

Found via Funtasticus on Busted Coverage.

Speaking of tasty snacks...

Bacon peanut brittle? WHAT. UP.

Made with bacon, peanuts, maple syrup, spices, and herbs, >Bacon Peanut Brittles ($17/3-pack) are the latest pork-infused addition to the Uncrate break room. Salty, smoky, and delicious, they're great for snacking, and may cause a minor disturbance if left out at your next gathering.

Found on Uncrate.

Breakfast Granola for 4/20/10

Heretofore unknown ore Dana Lemore is what's good to eat on this soggy Tuesday.

Found on Holy Taco.

Breaking shields

Andrew Bawidamann's brother, Ben, is in the cutlery-making business. Behold, the RANDGRIDR, my latest want.

Today's trivia: in old Norse poems, or eddas, "Randgríðr" was the name of a valkyrie, and one translation of her name is "Shieldbreaker."

Healthy body image

Kim Kardashian has curves, and that's all right.

Found on F-listed.

Breakfast Granola for 4/19/10

I never did like Family Circus, especially the dumbshit kid(s) who wanders around the neighborhood. Oh, how I wished for kidnappers or runaway cement mixers...

Well, along comes Robert Sinclair to say what I'm really thinking. That's right, you little asshole, go and find that poorly-covered well!

Found on Boing Boing.

Bakesale Betty's Two-fer?

Yes, it's true! The Mine had back-to-back supply runs for Bakesale Betty's.

To reiterate, the chicken sammich is two big breasts on a roll. Image unrelated.

Giada de Laurentiis and her delicious cleavage were found on a purposeful search of the intergoogles.

Speaking of keyboard tricks...

...I could use these.

Found on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 4/16/10

I know plenty about Macs, all the way down to some obscure tricks and keyboard shortcuts, but some of them are rarely used and need to be refreshed with visits to the Help menu or Google searches. However, this trick from Lifehacker is one I hadn't heard, yet something I'd so commonly use that I'm surprised it's not better documented:

Fine tune volume in OS X by holding down Alt(Option)+Shift then pressing the volume adjuster buttons. Also if you hit the volume down button till it shows the mute sign then hit the mute key it will play very quietly.

The first Saint of Simmslam?

No, it's not Big Daddy Kane, but FMD Nevub claims to have a third miracle in the works, so I figured it was about time to start filing the paperwork and figuring out trappings and trinkets. Chief among them will be some kind of badge, likely in the form of a multifinger trunk ring.

Later, there may come an 80s Lincoln Continental with chandelier headlights.

Speaking of distractions...

I wish I had Jordan Carver waiting on my desk for me this morning. Nope, I got work instead. Dammit.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.