A field guide to Marcellus Wallace

From The Oatmeal.

Tae Kwon Pwn

If your day starts like this, press restart.

Found with other WTF on Funtasticus.

Breakfast Granola for 12/9/9

Dylan Moran of Black Books fame, with the crazy truth:

Crunk history with FDR

Learn more about beer at The Oatmeal.

pretty but...

I resent her type, for wedging in to geek fanboys fantasies. These women can destroy good things (eg Battlebots & Carmen Elektra) Beware the poison flower

The Only NFL Review You Need for Week 13

The Niners lost and the Raiders won. Week 13 was absurd.

This week's Chicken Dinner was stolen by the officiating crews of the Niners/Seahawks and Ravens/Packers games. This week's Goat goes to the Steelers for losing to the Raiders.

Breakfast Granola for 12/8/9

For breakfast, here's Olivia Munn, wagging her tail. Yum.

The poster in the "Hey Olivia!" magazine was found on her blog.

Speaking of two men...

"Remember where you are. This is Thunderdome and death is listening. We take the first man who screams."

It's the most... gehest time...of the year

Breakfast Granola for 12/7/9

You gotta have a hearty breakfast to get through the day, least of all this one. Christina Hendricks will save us.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Happy Holidays

Nothin' says lovin' like...

...Bakesale Betty's.

Depicted: the brisket sandwich. It's thick fingers of brisket with greens, onions, kettle chips, and horseradish. Hearty, tasty stuff.

Q: Better than the chicken? A: personally, no, but being a sucker for chicken sammiches, I'm probably the last person to ask.

Also on the menu, pumpkin pie. By Cthulhu, it's criminal how delicious it is! Mildly spiced -- I hate when pumpkin pie is too strongly spiced -- and great even down to the crust. It's flaky and buttery, and the edge -- which I'll often leave behind if too hard or burnt -- is like a cookie. Best of all is the whipped cream; it's more like ice cream, it's so thick and rich.

Just on revelation of my plans, I was told by a woman, "Yummmm!!! I think I just came."

Welcome to my world, babe.

Breakfast Granola for 12/4/9

With a little help, I'm rounding out my soundboard. Still missing from this list: "LOUD NOISES!" from Anchorman, "Hooray beer!" from Red Stripe, and "Surprise, cockfags!" from Team America. The Wilhelm scream is a must-have.

Found via Coed on Urlesque.

Mining Procedure Manual, Vol. 1

FMD Jeff discovered why The Mine is so awesome: the design process. Tremble, ye who enter...

Found on The Oatmeal.

Breakfast Granola for 12/3/9

Rinse your eyes out, kids. Thursday is back. And by back I mean Coco Austin's big ass. Ice T is aft of her in the red print shirt and white pants, but don't mind him.

Found via Hollywood Tuna on Heyman Hustle.

You are getting very sleepy...

The new Mine handbook

As seen on Uncrate:

Cue old TV show intro: "In 1953, the Central Intelligence Agency contracted illusionist John Mulholland to create a secret dossier of stealth and misdirection to be used by operatives in the field. All copies of the document were believed to have been destroyed in 1973, but a single copy remained...." Believe it or not, that's the real story behind The Official CIA Manual of Trickery and Deception ($17). Reproduced by intelligence historian H. Keith Melton and retired CIA officer Robert Wallace, this aging document — many of the "secrets" seem more mischievous than malicious in modern context — has been enhanced with improved illustrations and an extended introduction.