A life unfulfilled is...

...this?

If Jeff's arms were this short, I'm pretty sure he'd use that cleaver to behead himself for lack of being able to, err..."behead himself."

Hilarity found at random on the sidebar of Cracked.

Lunchtime Granola for 3/12/9

Carin Ashley, a tasty midday snack.

Found on F-listed.

Is it stop motion animation or real?

Mardi Gras from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

A nice posting from Neatorama featuring a weird photography technique that makes real images look like stop motion.

Photographer Keith Loutit has mastered the art of tilt-shift photography– that is, a technique requiring a special camera lens to impart the illusion that what you’re looking at are miniatures, not life-sized human beings. When he locks the camera down and shoots hundreds of successive pics, it becomes a movie. He recently took his camera down to Sydney’s Mardi Gras celebration to capture the doll-sized fun.

A Little Mardi-Gras - Neatorama

Mining Gear: Recommend Firefox Plugins for All You Miners

Image by Graela via Flickr

Here is a quick list of the the two pieces of mining gear that can make your work here in the Granola Mine a little easier

ScribeFire - This allows you to take any page's elements and start blogging about it. Basically, you can take text, images etc. and then add your two cents here at the Mine.

Zemanta - This helps mark up your pages with creative commons images, related stories, suggested tags. Fills out light content pretty well, in an SEO friendly kind of way.

DashBlog - This is an alternate to ScribeFire that some folks like. I haven't used it yet. But one of the cool features is it can take a screenshot of the page you are on and create a posting around the screenshot.

Related articles

• Zemanta is now integrated with ScribFire Blog Editor (zemanta.com)
• ScribeFire 3.2 Released (scribefire.com)
• Big Update for ScribeFire Firefox Blog Addon (livecrunch.com)
• Zemanta for SEO (marketing.fm)

Granola ALERT: 3/12/9

Fellow Mining Drone 'Young Ted Danson' wants to know: "Jeff, were you in Texas over the weekend?" A: Signs point to yes.

“The sad thing about it all is these dogs have had raw, red and bloody rear ends,” the volunteer said. “I just don’t want to think what they are doing to them.”

Neither do I. Neither...do...I...

Thank you WiiHotties

Your Daily Pix Fix Starts With The Perfect Body And Finishes With Back Art | Wii Hotties

More stuff to like beyond

Fashion: That's a good look for you. Clown-tranny is in right now.

Woman in the iron mask and Cruella de catwalk star in Alexander McQueen's surrealist Paris show | Mail Online

So many of McQueen's staple looks - thigh boots, corset dresses, bondage straps, goat hair coats - have seeped into the collections of others, albeit in a watered-down way, that it was wonderful to see their originator reclaim them as his own again.

A tall pyre of crushed car parts, wrecked chairs and tin cans served as a centrepoint to the show, round which the models walked in stacked heels that were the highest seen in Paris so far. That's saying something.

Tuck those tits back in, sweetie!

It's short, it's sweet, it's Olivia Munn:

Fat guy at gym with no shirt on and juicy, heavy man boobs hanging out…

Gym employee, “Sir, you’re gonna have to put a shirt on. We have people in the gym”

Classic. Poor fat guy.

Breakfast Granola for 3/12/9

Now THAT is something I can get into in the morning.

Found via Hollywood Tuna on Coed Magazine. Ass provided by Denise Milani.

Every State with a Shitty 10 year GDP, Please just Leave the Union

Image via Wikipedia

Some states push back against stem cell research

A showdown is shaping up in some of the nation's most conservative states over embryonic stem cell research, as opponents draw language and tactics from the battle over abortion to counter President Barack Obama's plan to ease research restrictions.

Can't we just please let them leave the union and form their own "Jesus-o-stan" in the fucking center of this country. These people are just dragging our shit down...

Science Corner - Aphid Farming

Image via Wikipedia

If you don't already know about this, it should freak your shit out. Ants, the little machines that they are farm aphids! They will seed plants that make good aphid food with the little buggers. Tend the flock from threats. All for...honeydew.

What's honeydew you ask? Aphid shit. That's right, it's a fancy word for aphid shit. It must be really tasty to ants, since they will stop pretending to be mindless machines just to get some ass-juice.

Related articles

• Aphids' sticky suicide missions (news.bbc.co.uk)
• Six-Legged Soldiers Part One: Killing Aphids (and Humans) (oup.com)

Granola ALERT: 3/11/9

Why does steam come out of my vagina????!?

Bitch, your pussy is HAUNTED!

Found on flisted.com.

Post-lunch Granola for 3/11/9

My (free) Flight of the Conchords subscription on iTunes downloaded this automatically during lunch. Had to find it for Granola Heavy Industries.

You're Doing It Wrong Granola for 3/11/9

1) OMGWTFBBQ?

2) At least one person didn't think this the whole way through. Anyone seen Se7en? Saw + vagina = "Lust" scene.

3) Olivia Munn: "She needs to put her pussy in the time-out chair." O Cthulhu, I love that woman...

Found on OliviaMunn.com; full story on NBC Washington.

Lunchtime Granola for 3/11/9

Correction: Don't Ever Scare Richmond Characters.

Canned Air - New Office Fun for Dr. J

Image by dickuhne via Flickr

Air Duster: The Drug Choice of a New Generation

She was a pre-med student on her way to becoming a surgeon, but the trauma of being molested as a child and her parents’ brutal divorce haunted Allison. She started to inhale computer dust remover, which is potentially fatal with each breath. Her erratic behavior and absence from classes got Allison dropped from the pre-med program. Allison is currently inhaling up to ten cans of dust remover a day. Can interventionist Jeff help Allison and her family?

Jeff can beat that. How about Ambien, Rockstar, various crazy meds and Dust Remover

Related articles

• PepsiCo Signs Deal to Distribute ROCKSTAR via Pepsi Bottlers (newswire.ca)
• Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival 2009 (idiomag.com)

Get It Sideways

One day, Ken, if you practice and practice, you won't drive all squirrelly...