In defense of breasts

It's National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and like brassieres, I support breasts. They're beautiful and I want them to stay that way.

Thus, this foolishness uncovered by FMD Jeff reaches me with scorn and ire:

1. What is a paedophile? (USA spelling: pedophile)
A person who is sexually attracted to children.

2. Are women who enjoy breastfeeding children paedophiles?
Yes they are, because they feel sexually aroused with breastfeeding and some even admit this has led to orgasm....

[....]

4. Why is it that some people say that breast milk is best - is it true?
No, it is not true...cow's milk can be formulated to be just as nutritious or better than breast milk in a consistent manner, eg the mother's milk will vary in quality according to her general health

[....]

5. Why is it that many people find breastfeeding in public disgusting?
Because they sense there is a sexual element to breastfeeding and that children are being abused.

6. But if most mammals breastfeed, isn't it what nature intended?
Nature is both good and evil. The human brain is complex and capable of making a better choice due to science and technology. The right thing to do is to choose good and not use children as sexual objects.

[....]

NOTES:

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2. Please don't say: "God made breasts for babies." Wait a minute, did you forget that the devil also exists? Breasts were very likely to be designed by the devil, to trap you and ensnare you and get you to lust after children. THINK ABOUT THIS: There are TWO gods, one good, the other bad. BUT THEY BOTH HAVE PLENTY OF POWER. Who are you going to follow?

3. Please don't say: "Whatever next, an anti vagina campaign?" Yeah, you are quite right. How about a PRO CLONING campaign? You reproduce by dividing in two, like bacteria do. You make a copy of yourself, like identical twins do. Much better than all the mess and abuse of sex and sexual organs, and let's face it more utterly DIVINE.

Wow, where to start? Follow that link and read the missing bits, but let's see if I can draw out the essence of this FAIL:

1) Thou shalt not enjoy boobies, for they are the Devil's Toys, and nursing mammals are therefore original sinners.

2) Thou shalt enslave mother cows to this end, for -- as higher organisms -- womenfolk must recognize Lucifer's Hand and avoid being a mother by feeding her children (neverminding that cow milk ought to be likewise tainted in boobie evil, but moveth along, for thine logic wilteth in the face of mine beliefs).

3) Thou shalt not sexualize the infants with the suckling of boobies, for only during the oral sexes are the Devil's Toys brought to bear. Orgasm be the point of such spurious activities, and thou shalt be of nubile age for such. Your late 30s or 40s, though probably never as He shall undoubtedly command.

4) Thou shalt yearn towards nonsexual reproduction, for vaginas -- and the penises that enter them -- art icky, rivaled only by the babies which squisheth out from Beelzebub's Chasm. Thou shalt cloneth instead, so that all strengths -- along with all WEAKNESSES -- may be duplicated into eternity, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

But seriously, this sounds like an angry, bitter woman who either had a bad experience(s) or has always been barren and frigid. Thanks for your input, but I reject your unhappiness. Breasts are awesome, sex is awesome, and you thinking they're not just means more for the rest of us.