The Only NFL Review You Need for Week 17

The Niners won and the Raiders lost. Week 17 ended the way it should have.

This week's Chicken Dinner goes to Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson for running his ass off and earning 2006 total yards for the year. This week's Goat goes to Jim Zorn, failed ex-coach of the Washington Redskins.

Breakfast Granola for 1/5/10

Today's wisdom is brought to you by Johnnie Walker:

Some people will tell you that giving gift cards is ideal because it gives the receiver a choice. Ignore these people and give a bottle of fine Scotch.

Word.

Poor frozen fattie

Wait for it: 0:10...

M.I.A.M.I.

Stacy Keibler, a Southerner in the deep South, and it's a long way to summer for the rest of us.

Cold. So cold.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Breakfast Granola for 1/4/10

Welcome to the next decade, you damn dirty apes. Items of note:

1) Scotch goes with chocolate.
2) Drunk texting is easier than it seems.
3) There's supposed to be a live-action Yamato movie. Please don't suck.



Found on io9.

We go out with...

...Denise Milani and her amazofantabulous ass. See you next year!

Found via Hollywood Tuna on Hit Hip Hop.

My New Year's resolution will be...

...to lend a hand whenever possible, starting with Jelena Jensen. Thank you, please drive through.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

Deeper than a Navy SEAL

Somebody get me one of these for New Year's!

Found on Holy Taco with a minor treasure trove of related feminine win.

Breakfast Granola for 12/31/9

FMD Crankmonkey unearthed a list of the 10 most NSFW music videos, and from it I refined out this gem...

Major Lazer "Pon De Floor" from Eric Wareheim on Vimeo.

This awesome bit of daggering fodder is from the reggaeton/dancehall concept album Guns Don't Kill People...Lazers Do, which is about a Jamaican commando who lost an arm fighting zombies.

$191,000 Driving sim

A different rendezvous

It was a rendezvous is a short film by Claude Lelouch; find it on the googletubes, it's worth it. Meanwhile, we have a car's-eye view of Mullholland Drive with carguy Jay Leno, but it's more accurately narrated by the AMG exhaust of the 2011 SLS he's driving. Now I want to get some Flowmasters...



Found on Jalopnik.

Breakfast Granola for 12/30/9

A hearty breakfast is a good way to start the day, and FMD Crankmonkey unearthed a rich vein of tasty, nutritious granola. Behold!

There are many names in this list that we know and love -- Jessica Burciaga, Coco Austin, Kate & Anne Madsen, Amazin' Amie, Kim Kardashian, and Denise Milani-- so I figured I'd find something interesting and new, of which there remains plenty. Who to pick...?

I give you eye-catching Monique May.

Ore located on Hit Hip Hop.

Filled with Win

Re-visit a known perspective

It's not too often that we get to see this side of Coco Austin.

I mean, you sometimes have so much fun in the backyard patio that you give short shrift to the front porch, and there's nothing wrong with the front porch.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

And they're off!

Today's tract from (the Black Books version of) The Little Book Of Calm: Sometimes life can feel full of obstacles. Try to visualize Laura Doré on a sawhorse. What was once an obstacle is now an amusement park ride. You are the Seabiscuit of calm.

Found on Hollywood Tuna.

The Only NFL Review You Need for Week 16

The Niners won and the Raiders lost. Week 16 was what it was supposed to be.

This week's Chicken Dinner goes to the Buccaneers for capitalizing on the mistakes of the Saints and causing some victory. This week's Goat goes to Jim Caldwell for benching Peyton Manning and essentially quitting the game, thereby causing a defeat; his only redemption can be to go all the way and win the Super Bowl.

Breakfast Granola for 12/29/9

You can never EVER be this cool.

Found on Jalopnik.